You losers always cry about your shitty jobs, miserable lives and how you hate being unemployed because chicks don't like unemployed losers. Do you live in Miami? Even remotely close? Are you remotely in shape? Have a sense of humor? Enjoy bodypainted chicks? Our friends at The Clevelander Bar have the perfect job opening. They're seriously hiring a pool boy for the Marlins Park pool. JUMP!
Did you expect big celebrities from yesterday's all-star softball game in Kansas City? Only three chicks of importance even showed up: Chrissy Teigen, Jennie Finch & former American Idol contestant Haley Reinhart. Yeah, HUGE year for this game that should be mothballed. So of course all eyes were on supermodel Teigen. She obliged by kissing Steve Garvey & some local guy. JUMP!
IT'S HOME RUN DERBY TIME! BACK, BACK, BACK, IT'S NOT LANDING UNTIL IT HITS EASTBOUND I-70. THAT BALL IS HEADED FOR OKLAHOMA! BACK, BACK, & THIS ONE IS GONNA GET WET! (Enter your variation of Chris Berman call here.) Anyway, a bunch of foreigners & Prince Fielder will try to hit dongs tonight. Meanwhile, Wisconsin already held its dizzy bat HR Derby. It went well. JUMP!
When the Yankees and Red Sox face off, drama follows. Usually it occurs on the field, but with the Yankees winning 3 our of 4, this weekend's drama came from a scrub. Red Sox relief pitcher Vincente Padilla ran off his mouth at former teammate and current Yankee Mark Teixeira. The comments ranged from sexist to racist, with Padilla calling Teixeira a woman and saying he was prejudice against Hispanics. Of course Twitter went nuts. JUMP!
Remember, parents, little Bryce is 99.9% likely going pro in something other than baseball so no need to fight other parents at a Little League game. What? He might get a $50,000 college scholarship from baseball? Hell yes, throw down on the opposing parents! Here we go, welcome to Georgia where parents don't mind whoopin' some ass at a game. Get it, biggins'. JUMP!
Told you so. We promised that Bryce Harper would be an injury replacement for Tuesday's all-star game and it happened this weekend. Fans finally have a reason to watch the game to see if he separates a catcher's shoulder with a collision at the plate like his hero, Pete Rose. In tightrope walking news, remember how we ripped ABC & that Wallenda dude for wearing a harness? Yeah, so some Chinese dude fell off a tightrope this weekend. BALLS! Let's get rolling!
As we told you this morning, Kate Upton was drinking in a suite at last night's Detroit Tigers game. It turns out that suite was Justin Verlander's suite. Yes, that Verlander guy from the MLB 2K commercials and your reigning Cy Young. A little investigating reveals that Upton in Verlander's suite wasn't by coincidence. These two are actually sharing some special time, according to Detroit locals. JUMP!
Look, I could totally care less that an underage Kate Upton was pounding draft beers last night at the Detroit Tigers game. What underage chick out there hasn't been hammered at a baseball game before her 21st birthday. Big f-ing deal! The real story here is that Kate drinking draft beer with that body is a recipe for disaster. Let's be honest, that beer is going straight to her gut & thighs. Not cool. JUMP!
The Stanley Cup is on its European leg of the Kings victory tour so why not stop in Slovenia to spend the day with Anze Kopitar. The center took the Cup to the golf course, on a tour of the city & to church for a cleansing. In MLB news, Bryce Harper is still waiting for someone to get injured to get a pass to the all-star game. WOULD SOMEONE GET THEIR HEAD OUT OF THEIR ASS! FIND A SPOT FOR THE GUY. Complete horseshit from this sport. Let's get rolling!
Remember when Blue Jays 3B Brett Lawrie went nuts on an umpire for a strike three call earlier this season? Remember how Brett slammed his helmet into the ground and it promptly hit umpire Bill Miller on the hip. Sensing a solid chance to make a buck, the Blue Jays are now trying to sell that helmet for $1,000 in their team store. Nope, not kidding. $500 less for Lawrie's helmet than Cam Newton's BCS pants. JUMP!
Kudos to the Pittsburgh Pirates this morning. Your hat was being worn by Euro soccer stud Kevin-Prince Boateng yesterday in Sardinia while he was on holiday with the World's Hottest Soccer WAG, Melissa Satta. Sure, more guys figure the story here is Satta's ass in this bikini. Wrong. How the hell does Boateng, a German, end up wearing a Pirates hat. Does he realize the Bucs have a 1 game N.L. Central lead? JUMP!
How great is Bryce Harper? Seriously, how great? The guy isn't even 20 yet and already has baseball by the nuts, just tickling your sack with his greatness. All-star game at 19? It should happen by Saturday at the latest. Anyway, BC reader @A_Kerala wants you guys to see what's going on with Harper's semi-tricked out Mercedes AMG. By the balls, people. JUMP!
Reader email from Ken in Coon Rapids, Minnesota: "You guys see the dumb Tigers broad flopping out her implants during 5th inn. of last night's game? Kid Rock's sister." Yep, went straight to our MLB TV account and there she was. Kid Rock's sister flopping out her boobs, but it sure looks like a bikini under that half-shirt to us. JUMP!
And the husband let her have the aisle seat. Ain't that some bullshit on the 4th of July? Of course the aisle is a man's domain. It's where he acts as an air traffic controller. The one who flags down the beer guy. The one who inspects the poon walking into his section. Grow a pair, dad. (via @Merredith). In NBA news, Steve Nash is headed to the Lakers, if you didn't hear. Here's how a guy with only 4,200 Twitter followers got 3,500 RTs out of the news. Insane. Let's get rolling!
Bryce Harper debuted his new Under Armour "Don't Be A Clown Bro" shirt during a MLB Network post-game interview this afternoon, but that wasn't the real highlight. The original Nats bro, Jayson Werth, interrupted the interview with a shaving cream pie to Harper's face. Yes, Bro Harper got clowned by Bro Werth and Internet bros totally lost it. Who's rushing out to get one of these shirts? JUMP!
We continue to beat the drum that if a hot chick wants to make it on the Internet these days, she has to get baseball themed pics into her portfolio. She should own the month of July. She should own the 4th of July. If you are a model and not in our 4th of July Baseball Babes gallery, there's a good chance your Internet modeling career is over. These ladies understand what men want on the 4th. Baseball. Skin. Bikinis. Jump!