Aaron Smith got married last weekend. He seems to be a decent guy. Good head on his shoulders. 118 Twitter followers. Cute bride. The happy couple have great smiles. Just building a nice little life for themselves. The only issue for Aaron is that he's a Cubs fan and about to have his groom's cake passed around the Internet. Sure, it's a great cake, but nothing is more depressing than being reminded of the Cubs futility by your new wife. JUMP!
Of course you have a '69 Jersey' buddy. You know the guy: lives by YOLO. He's probably married; his wife hates him, too. But he's the hardo who'll walk into an opposing team's stadium wearing a 'Your Mom 69' jersey. Your goal is to not get stabbed or shot. 69 YOLO doesn't care. The wife is about to leave his ass and he's not at a football game to meet a wife. He's there to crush beers and maybe throw a couple punches. JUMP!
Cubs fans just can't catch a break. As if the humiliation of a 47-76 record isn't bad enough, this guy has to deal with the fact that he was on TV doing this. He totally whiffed on the ball, and fell over the edge of the wall. Oh, it gets worse...he loses part of his scalp. Poor schmuck just totally f*cked up this attempt, and thanks to the internet, he won't be living it down anytime soon. JUMP!
Sure the pool-boy position has since been filled, but that doesn't mean you can't admire the thing of beauty that is the Clevelander. The girls that fill this bar on a nightly basis are incredible. Whether its the lifeguard, the bartenders or the dancers, you know you'll be getting some serious eye candy out of your visit. We've profiled these babes before and with photos like these doesn't look like we'll be stopping anytime soon. JUMP!
The Ichiro era in Seattle was down to the 50% rack at the Mariners team store. So, what does a robber do? He busts through a door at the team store, grabs 16 Ichiro jerseys and makes a run for it. Those were $240 jerseys before Ichiro was traded to the Yankees. The play here has to be storing the jerseys for like 8-10 years and take them to the 2020 Coachella Festival where they'll be worth like $300. JUMP!
Skip Bayless has done it again. Yesterday on First Take, Skip practically came out and insinuated Derek Jeter's resurgence this season could be a result of PEDs. He may not have directly said it, but he got as close as possible. Jeter is an athlete that people rever and respect, and anytime someone, let alone Skip, comes down on him, they go nuts! JUMP!
Via @si_vault. As for modern NFL news this morning, Mike Florio says a source told him that league officials offered Jonathan Vilma an eight-game reduction to his 2012 ban. Vilma declined. In MLB news, Joe Girardi told a heckler to "shut up" last night in Chicago as he tried to give a post-game interview in the tunnel. Of course Girardi also told a fat blob security guard lounging on a golf cart to "do something." Let's get rolling!
Are you getting sick of the fact that the only time we hear about Kate Upton anymore is involving Justin Verlander? Good, we are too. This video from the SI Swimsuit edition shoot will bring you back to the glory days. Nothing much else to say with this one other than it's new footage of Kate Upton looking sexy in a bikini. JUMP!
Per Jon Heyman of CBS: "Sources: Bartolo Colon fails drug test. subject to 50-game ban." Shockingly, Jon's sources were correct and the A's, in a wild card race, just lost
Stephen Strasburg Colon (10-9, 3.43 ERA)for the season. What was the drug? Testosterone. How exactly was it helping Bartolo? Giving extra power to his third chin? Is Victor Conte right? Are up to 50% of MLB players juicing? How will Colon spend his new found freedom: Top 100 Chinese restaurants in U.S.
Imagine working the sh*tty mercantile exchange all day trying to keep track of hog prices and answering calls from your annoying wife about your mother-in-law wanting to get together for a family dinner on Saturday night. Yeah, f**k that, right? So you and the boys decide to totally skip dinner at home to catch a White Sox game. 'Andy' decides to tie one on and eventually spank his ass to Lady Gaga during a pitching change. JUMP!
Are you out of work, behind on your house payments, the electric is about to be shut off and you need to pay for a divorce? Getting out of debt could be easy. Do you know this bank robber? Would you consider turning on your homeboy, but don’t have the nerves to rat? Let us help you. We’ll turn on your homeboy. And split the reward money with you! It’s a win-win. Full story – JUMP!
"Bouncer" Udong easily wins nickname of the year at the Little League World Series. How about this guy's summer? He goes from taking dumps in a Ugandan communal toilet to getting new sunglasses and a clean shirt at the Little League World Series. That's a helluva summer. In NFL news, someone on the Tampa Craigslist is claiming to be selling Keyshawn Johnson's old leather couch. Call Gene @ 813-850-1697. He says $500 takes it home. Let's get rolling!
It's unclear when this Yankees tailgating video was shot, but we'll guess it was over the weekend when the Red Sox were in town since that one bro already has his Ichiro shirt. If there's one thing we've learned over the years, it's that Internet gold usually occurs when House of Pain's 'Jump Around' is played at a tailgate. There's probably some dude at James Madison studying the song's effect on bro society. JUMP!
We've been trying to tell the Internet this summer that Roger Clemens couldn't pull himself away from baseball. There has barely been a weekend when The Rocket hasn't been at a baseball park watching his son play. Now comes word that Roger will be starting this Saturday for the indy league Sugar Land Skeeters. Oh, did we mention it's Human Fireball Night at the Skeeters park? You can get a ticket and a two-hour all-you-can-eat buffet for $37.50. JUMP!
How does Chris Perez entertain himself now that the Indians season is a waste and he's closing games just to keep his $4,500,000 salary rolling in? He gets in an f-bomb fight with an A's fan - just because it seems fun. You know this kind of A's fan. He shows up early for BP, finds a guy who's likely to jab with him and then acts like a d-bag. Perez not only obliges A's d-bag with a verbal fight, he has A's fan ejected. JUMP!
Kate Upton has been relatively quiet since it was learned that she and Justin Verlander were dating. It was July 10 when BC learned that Upton was officially partying with Verlander in Detroit. Then there was the July 18 news that Upton was joining a suburban Detroit gym. That's where the trail went cold. For the most part, she stopped using Twitter. JV & Upton weren't spotted at concerts. She kinda quieted down. Now we get Upton in a Tigers hat! It's back on! JUMP!
We're not sure if Jose Canseco's family is funneling memorabilia to dealers to get cash for the disgraced slugger who recently filed for bankruptcy. It just seems odd that an eBay seller is claiming this 1997 A's Booster Club banner came from Canseco's sister and that "Jose treasured this for many years." Yes, very strange. Jose would spend the '97 season in Oakland and have 122Ks in 108 games. At only $500 on eBay, how do you not buy this thing? JUMP!
Via: A suspect in as many as five armed robberies was arrested Thursday evening after a standoff outside his San Mateo County home that lasted nearly 10 hours, according to law enforcement. The suspect, Miguel Angel Caballero, 30, is suspected in as many as five armed robberies at businesses in the Redwood City area since Aug. 7. And to think he's going to miss watching Red Sox-Yankees tonight from his couch. Sucks, bro.
We're one day into the Little League World Series and Twitter is already dropping Jerry Sandusky jokes at an alarming rate. Like this from @Weave7 - jerry sandusky said he would admit to everything he did if they let him watch the little league world series
#truefan(.) For those not very good with geography, Sandusky's cell is only 55.6 from the Little League facility in Williamsport. In other baseball news, Andruw Jones used to make these plays. Let's get rolling!