Roger Clemens turns 50 on August 4. Mid-life crisis time! So there was the Rocket this weekend, at Rice University, coaching some summer baseball in the coolest pair of camo cargo shorts you'll ever see on a guy who just beat the U.S. government in a perjury trial. Details on Clemens coaching gig are slim. That's not why we're here. The story has to be the camo shorts. And, do we detect new frosted tips? JUMP!
Of course we weren't glued to the MLB.tv account yesterday during the 7th inning of the Brewers-D-backs game when some (assuming) drunk guy decided to get cozy with Front Row Amy. The big news: shirtless guy was tweaking his nipple. Yes, we'd love to show you the video, but MLB goons have that lock on our YouTube account so you get screencaps of nip tweaker. JUMP!
Via: The FBI is searching for a suspect accused of robbing a Wells Fargo bank in southeast Houston Saturday morning. The man has been dubbed the ‘Abe Lincoln Bandit’ because of his distinctive beard. Around 11:35 a.m., the suspect entered the bank on 11102 Scarsdale and handed the teller a note demanding money. He then allegedly lifted his shirt to display a pistol stuck into his waistband. Scared to turn in Abe? We will: email@example.com
Just as us Americans celebrate July 4th as our national holiday of gaining our independence from those British assholes, Canada also has a similar day. It's called Canada Day & takes place each year on July 1. Gregg Zaun, a former Jays catcher turned broadcaster, might have been born in California, but he knows how to win over the hearts and mind of the maple leafers. Give them some Don Cherry on a blazing hot day in Toronto. Let's get rolling!
A reader once complained to us that we did way too many Baseball Cap Bank Robber Cuff 'Em stories and this guy couldn't understand why BC cared about some guy robbing a bank in a baseball hat. Today is the payoff. Today we sit back in our chair and exhale because this right here is why we get up in the morning. Humanity. To find a guy who accented his giant fake beard with a Phillies cap. JUMP!
Shall we start the morning with a *slow clap* for the Target Field security chick taking down streaker bro by the finger tips? I think we shall. Just look at this effort. You won't see that from a Minneapolis cop working OT at like $60/hr. Someone get this chick a raise. In other MLB news, how about this Aaron Hill kid. He hits for cycle for the 2nd time in two weeks. This guy now has four cycles in his baseball career. Let's get rolling!
Just 10 days ago Jose Canseco went on the Worcester Tornadoes disabled list to "take some time to heal my injuries," according to the disgraced Bash Brother. That was June 18 at 11:34 p.m. - on Twitter. Ironically, at 8:02 p.m., some Worcester local ran into Canseco playing a softball game. You know, because nothing helps heal injuries like swinging a softball bat. JUMP!
The big news today in Boston? Clay Buchholz went to a party at Foxwoods last night after being recently released from Mass. General where he was battling esophagitis. What's the big issue? Buchholz is on the 15-day DL and the Sox are in Seattle. Boston media is obviously having a slow week because this is dominating sports talk & is now leaking over into the newspapers. JUMP!
How does ESPN2 fill programming in June after college baseball & softball are finished? Men's professional softball! It was Team USA vs. Team USA Futures and the youngsters won a thriller, 38-37, after Team USA had the tying run thrown out at home to end the game. Still efforting to find out if the dugouts had keg fountains. In other softball news, last night the Mets beat the Cubs, 17-1. Solid night from Jeff Samardzija. Only gave up 9 over 4 1/3. Let's get rolling!
Umpire Mike DiMuro has to be the biggest waste of MLB umpire flesh, right? By now you know what happened in last night's Yankees-Indians game. Yankees outfielder Dewayne Wise goes into the left field stands to catch a foul ball & clearly doesn't make the catch. Replay shows a fan in the vicinity bend over, pick up the ball and hold it up over his head. Does DiMuro ask Wise to show the ball? Nope. Of course Twitter erupted. JUMP!
The Giants & Dodgers wrap up a 3-game series at Pac Bell today at 3:45 EST and it'll also mark the end of the San Francisco police department's undercover program - until the next series. Cops have been dressing up as Dodgers fans, just waiting for morons to attack them for wearing Dodgers gear. Sounds like enticement to us. S.F. cops say that's not the case at all. JUMP!
Guarantee only a select few men have that Polo shirt in their closet. Oh, and when did Rob Ryan buy that Rangers hat? Yesterday at lunch? (via @DCStarJEllis). In other baseball news, here's another play that'll eventually move MLB to replay. Dewayne Wise was credited with catching this foul ball during last night's Yankees-Indians game. Watch how bad this call was. Not only did Wise not catch the ball, it isn't even clear that he walks away with the ball. Let's get rolling!
Derek Jeter turns 38 today & should be commended by all those athletes out there who have multiple divorces and children with multiple women. Jetes never fell for the bait. The guy never succummed to the altar & that means he can live a great life dating whomever he wants. Of course you guys thought he'd marry Minka Kelly. Nope, threw her right back to her B-list life. Don't feel bad for Minka, she joined a long list of throwbacks. JUMP!
Sure, Travis Wood and his batting helmet was the talk of Twitter on Monday night, but the pitcher got the last laugh with seven shutout innings and a W against the Mets. Reminder: When your team is 15.5 games out of 1st in the N.L. Central, & has the worst record in baseball, all it takes to become a Twitter story is a logo fail. In other baseball news, Arizona won the College World Series. Hell yes it was a slow Monday night. Time to ramp up NBA Draft news. Let's get rolling!
Ever see a minor league baseball game called off in the 8th inning when the ballpark's outfield fence was destroyed by a violent thunderstorm? Now you have. This is The Diamond in Richmond, Virginia. The home team, the Squirrels, were facing the New Britain Rock Cats when said thunderstorm rolled through the area and left a pummeled fence. Team officials estimate 4,500 fans were at the game. JUMP!
Porn star Jessica Lynn didn't come out and tweet, "I want to have sex with Dodgers pitcher Chris Capuano," but it was pretty close according to emailer Colby T. who sent us an urgent email last night. "What does having an all star level season get Chris Capuano? Porn stars, of course," Colby wrote. Wait, wait, wait just a minute. How the hell does a porn star randomly seemingly want to get banged by Capuano? This is nuts. JUMP!