Of course the only reason to watch last night's Pac-12 Championship was for the cheerleaders and to see how bad Oregon could destroy a horrible UCLA game. How did UCLA get into the Pac-12 Championship, you ask? That's what happens when USC has bowl eligibility stripped thanks to Reggie Bush. The shitty Bruins go by default. As for the cheerleaders, this'll be the last time you'll see the ladies in '11. Next stop - The Rose Bowl. JUMP!
The Ohio Bobcats took on the Northern Illinois Huskies where no one decided to show up to support their team in the championship game. Both opening drives ended up in interceptions which is odd because the MAC is not known for its defense. The director of communications of the MAC conference even found me on Twitter and urged me not to call it MACtion. Tyler Tettleton's father and his son may be the only ones watching this game. JUMP!
ESPN probably chose the wrong shot opening shot for the West Virginia Mountaineer for you to watch some Thursday night football. Jenn Brown manned the sidelines where as you may have had your TV muted while Craig James announced the game. The University of South Florida also seemed to have a "ball boy" who seemed well into his 60's. Dana Holgerson had at least 8 Red Bulls before the game started. JUMP!
Eli Manning and the New York Giants are taking on the New Orleans Saints where Eli provided the classic "Manning Face" after throwing an interception to the Saints. At 5 foot 6, Darren Sproles used his smurf back status to rip through the Giants defense with a vengeance. Drew "Breesus" looked as immaculate as usual throwing towards one of the best tight ends in the nation named Jimmy Graham. Note to the Giants: You may want to cover him. JUMP!
It's Sunday Night Football where the Pittsburgh Steelers are taking on the Kansas City Chiefs. It's obvious that both teams made bets with each other to see who could make the most "DERP" faces during 60 minutes of playing time. Kansas City better keep Ben Roethlisberger away from their girls after the game tonight and keep their defensive lineman close to him. JUMP!
Nick Novak had to relieve himself on the field during the San Diego Chargers and Denver Broncos game and thankfully the cameras caught it. A special hat tip to his teammate he hid his goods with a towel so no one in the stands could see his man parts. Novak missed the game winning Field Goal in Overtime. Obviously relieving himself by the Gatorade cooler did not help his mojo. JUMP!
John Elway, who was once a Broncos Quarterback, looks onward hoping that "Baby Rhinoceros Tebow Jesus" can lead the Denver Broncos to a comeback against the San Diego Chargers. Junior Seau also got inducted into the Chargers Hall of Hame but WHAT TH HELL IS HE WEARING? JUMP!
Ryan Fitzpatrick of the Buffalo Bills look to knock off the New York Jets Plaxico Burress better not shoot his team in the foot for them to pull this off. Ryan Fitzpatrick also won the award for best pornstache in the NFL The mustache may rival that of Ron Swanson from the TV show Parks and Recreation. That is an impressive feat.. JUMP!
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShift35: Even though Florida State students can't read they flocked to Ben Hill Griffin Stadium to watch their Seminoles take on the Florida Gators in "The Swamp". "Ghostface" from the Scream series was spotted by the Gator band section and horrendous looking Florida State girl held up a sign asking Santa to beat the Gators. I thought Seminole girls were supposed to be attractive? JUMP!
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShift35: Alabama WR Marquis Maze just saw Auburn's punter shank a punt for 18 yards and gave his best "Trollface" ever. The caption should read "U MAD BRO?" Alabama is currently dominating Auburn in the Iron Bowl. Expect to see ALL OF THE SCHAUDENFREUDE. AJ McCarron has already thrown a flea flicker pass. Expect Alabama to unleash the dogs. JUMP!
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShift35: During what is referred to as "The Game", Ohio State took on Michigan in Ann Arbor. This season Michigan finally put bodies in their seats for this game now that they are actually not absolutely terrible. All of these fans got to witness a some brawl break out between the Ohio State and Michigan players. Michigan fans also dressed up in some crazy attire. You can't blame them, what the hell else is there to do in Michigan?
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShift35: The Iron Bowl is one of the most intense rivalries in all of College Football. However, ESPN confiscated almost 80% of the Auburn fans signs forcing one guys sign to just read "THIS IS A POSTER". Real creative bro. No Alabama insults were left out including the fact that Alabama can't hit a Field Goal if their lives depended on it. JUMP!
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShfit35: Dennis Erickson, the head coach of The Arizona State University, is not having a great night against the California Bears this Friday night. Vontaze Burflict is here to take your girl, your touchdowns, your Quarterback down, and probably your soul. Zach Maynard is actually making this a game against the Sun Devils as a former basketball player that can run the ball in the end zone when necessary. JUMP!
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShift35: West Virginia fans flocked to watch their team play against the Panthers. You guessed it, the bro in the uniform is wearing a raccoon piece. Expect every couch in this town to get burned tonight if WVU wins. I'm sure West Virginia will do well after Dana Holgorsen has drank his 8 Red Bulls. Also, if WVU wins, expect Dana to make it to Atlantic City in time to double down on a pair on sixes at a casino tonight. JUMP!
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShift35: Tyrann Matthieu is known for his love of his synthetic weed and taking the ball away from your favorite Quarterback. During the CBS intro, it looks as if Tyrann aka "The Honey Badger" packed a bowl of his favorite synthetic "sticky icky" right before his player picture was taken. Let's see if this affects his performance in the "Battle of the Boot" where LSU takes on Arkansas. JUMP!
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShift35: Jason Witten caught a pass from Tony Romo and proceeded to the sidelines where a cheerleader was in his way. Looks as if Witten wasn't just bracing his fall and was trying to grab onto this hot broad. Also, during the National Anthem, A&M fan was more interested in her Twitter account than showing our America some respect during the National Anthem. JUMP!