What Every NFL Team Does Best, According To Reddit

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As the NFL season approaches, fans across the country are beginning to obsessively evaluate their team’s strengths and weaknesses. Diehards from Seattle, San Francisco, and Indianapolis certainly have a more positive outlook than the poor souls living in Tampa Bay, Minnesota, or Oakland, but the passion for the game remains the same.

Reddit user TheVetNoob tapped into that passion and recently posted the thread “What does your team do better than any other team?” It prompted some pretty awesome and authentic responses from fans around the country.

“Nothing.”Tampa_Bay_Buccaneers_2014_Skull01

The Bucs went 4-12 in an sad 2013 campaign. Tampa fans are hoping that new head coach Lovie Smith gives them something to be proud of this season.

“Running backs.”

Buffalo_Bills

CJ Spiller and Fred Jackson are a pretty good running back duo. But unfortunately for Bills fans, the position lost a lot of value over the years as the NFL has shifted to a QB-driven league.

“Gamble on 4th downs.”Carolina_Panthers

“Riverboat Ron’s” crew converted 10 of 13 4th down attempts last year (76.9%), which was good for third best in the NFL.

“Lose in the playoffs.”Cincinnati_Bengals

A thread from 5 years ago might have said “Off-season arrests.”

“Cause Depression.”
Cleveland_Browns

Browns fans are hoping Johnny Manziel, or perhaps Brian Hoyer, can lead Cleveland out of the “Factory of Sadness” era.

“Choke in December.”Dallas_Cowboys

This one is deadly accurate- unlike Tony Romo’s 4th quarter passing attempts.

“Lose Super Bowls.”Denver_Broncos

Denver’s 43-8 loss at the hands of the Seattle Seahawks last season was the franchise’s second worst Super Bowl loss ever. The Broncos have been knocked out of the Big Game 5 times.

“Draft Quarterbacks.”Indianapolis_Colts

Peyton Manning and Andrew Luck were obviously great selections. But Jeff George? Not so much.

“Scoreboards and pools.”Jacksonville_Jaguars

Yup, that’s about it, Jaguars fans.

“Hand the ball to All Day.”Minnesota_Vikings

Poor Adrian Peterson. The 7-year back deserves better than Christina Ponder, Matt Cassel, and Josh Freeman.

“Turn the ball over.”New_York_Giants

Eli Manning has thrown 83 interceptions over the last four seasons. The G-Men also gave away 15 fumbles last season, which was tied for second worst in the league.

“5-11.”Oakland_Raiders

Oakland has gone 5-11 or worse in 9 of the last 11 seasons. Just reach .500, baby.
“Win Superbowls.”Pittsburgh_Steelers

Pittsburgh has won 6 of the 8 super bowls that it’s played in.

“Throwback uniforms.”San_Diego_Chargers8

I think that most NFL fans would agree that the powder blues are some of the best throwback uni’s in the NFL.

“Win Road games.”San_Francisco_49ers

From 1988-90, the Niners won a record 18 straight regular season road games.

“We rush the fucking passer like nobody else does.Los_Angeles_Rams

Robert Quinn and the Rams recorded a total of 53 team sacks last year, which was third in the NFL.

“Sustained mediocrity.”Tennessee_Titans2

Titans record the last 5 years:  7-9, 6-10, 9-7, 6-10, 8-8. Extremely mediocre.

“Piss off congressmen.”Washington_Redskins

Daniel Snyder’s outright refusal to change the team’s name has not pleased Congress. Snyder doesn’t care.

“Discount double-check.”GreenBayPackers

“HEY RODGERS! DISCOUNT DOUBLE CHECK!”

“Drink more koolaid.”Chicago_Bears3

OK.

“Make average receivers look like superstars.”New_Orleans_Saints

Drew Brees can make any average receiver look great. Devery Henderson and Robert Meachem are two clear examples.

“Ugg commercials.”New_England_Patriots

Not 100% sure on this one, but I’m guessing that Tom Brady is the only player in the NFL appearing in UGG ads.

“Lose to the Colts in the playoffs.”Kansas_City_Chiefs

Kansas City has some awesome fans, too. Hope that they’ve recovered from last year’s crushing 45-44 defeat to Andrew Luck and the Colts.

“Talk Shit.”Seattle_Seahawks_2012c

Example: ““I’m the best corner in the game! When you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that’s the result you’re going to get. Don’t you ever talk about me. Don’t you open your mouth about the best, or I’ll shut it for you real quick” – Richard Sherman.

“Shutdown a team for 3 straight quarters then fall apart in the 4th whilst giving its fans severe stress and anxiety.”Baltimore_Ravens

A lot of fans feel this way about their team.

“Drinking.”New_York_Jets1

With Geno Smith as QB, Jets fans could be drowning their sorrows all season.

“Lose to the Houston Texans.” Miami_Dolphins

Crazy and random statistic: the Dolphins are 0-7 all time against the Houston Texans.

“Fucking score points.”Philadelphia_Eagles

What’s your plan?

“Stuff the run.”Arizona_Cardinals

Spot on. Arizona statistically had the best rushing defense in the NFL last season.

“Lose.”Detroit_Lions

Accurate.

Apparently the Falcons and Texans don’t do anything better than the rest of the NFL, as they have not yet been represented in the thread.

 Images via Sports Logos Screensavers

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