OMG! Buy Brandon McCarthy’s Chic Dallas Loft…Just $1,950,000

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I picture Twitter hipsters’ chins hitting the floor over this one. Your hero Diamondbacks pitcher Brandon McCarthy is selling his chic Dallas loft and it can be yours for just $1,950,000. Buy this place and your tweets will instantly become the hippest in baseball. You’ll also fall in love with a beautiful woman who will also become a Twitter hipster. You’ll live a hip life and Twitter will bend over because of your whit.

This really is a life-changing opportunity.

According to his realtor:

One of a kind lifestyle property! Adjacent to Katy Trail and American Airlines arena this is urban living at its most private and convenient. Luxury loft styling with concrete and wood floors, floor to ceiling glass, huge outdoor living spaces, wine room, study, gym and 4 car garage. Roofdeck is over 1500 sq. ft. with outdoor kitchen and dramatic views of downtown and Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge. Gated community convenient to Tollway and downtown.

Mmmmm, I love it when a realtor uses “lifestyle property” in a listing. Makes it feel so much more hip. McCarthy, currently 1-10, is making $10,250,000 this season. Maybe he’ll cut you a deal just to dump this place.

Other Highlights Of Brandon’s Pottery Barn Loft:

• 3 bedrooms, 3 full baths; 1 half-bath

• 4,658 sq. ft.

• Two shower heads in the master bath — party time!

• A great view of Dallas

6 minutes to Whole Foods

25 minutes to Rick’s Cabaret DFW

Est. mortgage: $7,782/mo. before condo/loft fees, someone to clean the windows and maid service

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