— Indianapolis Colts (@Colts) January 10, 2014
Colts’ fans who aren’t hopeful of their team’s chances in Foxborough against the Patriots in the AFC playoffs on Saturday night (8:15 p.m. EST on CBS) should meet Michael Johnson (above).
He’s a competitive beard grower who just forever changed the way playoff beards will be judged, especially now that Bengals’ beard guy’s team was eliminated.
Johnson told City Pages (Minn.) the story of the beard in December (before he went full Indy):
“It’s nickname is ‘Wu-Tang Whiskers.’ It’s over two years of growth and styling practice. I’m a three-time Minnesota State Champion, the current National Champion, and I just won a silver medal at the 2013 World Championships in Germany.”
Really, when one of those NHL dudes has some peach fuzz this spring, are they going to hold it up against a friggin’ horseshoe beard? They are not.
FWIW- the Saints fleur de lis and the Chargers’ lightning bolt would make great beards. Everyone else: you’re screwed.