Theo Epstein Selling Boring Boston House With Mature Trees; $3.65MM

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Theo-Epstein-House-LEAD

And here we thought Theo Epstein was one of the biggest bros in baseball that was like one of us. We thought he pounded beers, was a little rough around the edges away from the park and lived in a place with four mounted LEDs in the family room to catch games.

Nope.

Theo is selling his Brookline, Mass. house fit for $3,650,00 and at that price you don’t even get some sort of water feature like an indoor pool. Nothing. He paid $2,350,000 for it in 2007.

You get mature trees and mahogany decks.

According to his Realtor:

Expansive home designed for grand scale entertaining & modern family life. 6 bedrooms, 4 fireplaces, hardwoods throughout, 5 full, 2 1/2 baths. 2 car garage, chef’s kitchen w/gas cooking, elite appliances. Private yard w/mature plantings, the perfect bluestone patio for entertaining.

Sounds boring.

Highlights of Theo Epstein’s Old Pad:

• 6 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms and over 4,900 sq. ft.

• Claims to have basement; house built in 1898; figure the basement isn’t a basement

• Did I mention mahogany decks?

4 miles from Fenway

6 miles from Centerfolds strip club

Asking: $3,650,000

Mortgage: $18,800 before taxes & someone to cut those trees

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