Over the July 4th weekend we happened upon photos of a shirtless Joe Flacco catching rays on a New Jersey beach and the sight wasn’t exactly pretty. Joe, 6-6, 245, isn’t exactly Adonis. His arms have slight definition, he has a farmer’s tan and his chest looks like the Scottish countryside.
It instantly got us thinking about quarterbacks who’ve won the Super Bowl. There was one dynamic that most of these QBs possess: they’re sorta dumpy. Not to get all gay on you guys (comfortably married to a woman).
Look at the names of recent Super Bowl-winning signal callers: Roethlisberger, Manning, Manning, Rodgers, Brees, Brady, Dilfer, Brad Johnson, Warner, Elway.
Have you ever seen these guys shirtless? Name one that runs under a 4.8. Name one who has appeared shirtless in an Under Armour campaign.
So while ESPN and message board fan boy goes nuts over the next great quarterback who’ll get naked (Kaepernick) and can run like an impala (Vick) and have 16-pack abs (Cam Newton), dumpy guys keep getting the job done.
The next great dumpy NFL quarterback who will win a Super Bowl?
• Andy Dalton; has the dumpy ginger body, but we’re still talking about the Bengals
• Ryan Tannehill; prototype dumpy QB, needs Tom Brady to retire
• Jay Cutler; pretty much the perfect dumpy QB who hasn’t won a S.B.
• Andrew Luck; how many will he win? We’re still waiting for shirtless pics.
• Matt Barkley; keep this guy on your radar, not a complete dumpster fire
• Russell Wilson; going to get dumpy – mark my words. This is my guy. Bet him right now.