You’ve been sitting around the house, eating greasy pizza, watching the NFL Network and avoiding your annoying girlfriend or wife. You haven’t moved off the couch in 48 hours and your phone died, rendering your Twitter account worthless.
Meanwhile, sports smack-talking maniacs have been using social media and other outlets to vent on fellow combatants. Athletes are fighting writers. Writers are fighting writers. Athletes are fighting fans.
This is where Busted Coverage steps in on a weekly basis. The gatekeepers.
If someone is in a sports-related war, we’re all ears. If you know of a sports-related beef, we want to hear about it. There are no sports beefs too small for The Schoolyard editors. Try us.
Boomer Sooner! Who Wants My Kids?
Fight Combatants: Misty Nicole Vanhorn vs. her kids
Fight Details: Vanhorn, of Oklahoma, tried to sell her kids via Facebook to some lady for $1,000 for one kid or both for $4,000. Why was the package deal so much more expensive? Convenience fee. Think about it, if you’re a family who doesn’t want to go through years of pregnancy and just want to buy a couple of kids, you pay for convenience.
Fight Scorecard: Her kids – via decision.
Mrs. Carrie Underwood Is Supposed To Be A Devout Christian
Fight Combatants: Nashville’s Mike Fisher vs Dallas Stars Stephane Robidas
Fight Details: As you can see, Mike Fisher got into a fight this week. The thing to remember is that Mrs. Carrie Underwood is crazy religious. He’s so religious that Fisher has even appeared on the 700 Club. He’s like the Tim Tebow of the NHL & married to Underwood.
It just seems like this guy wouldn’t be blooding another guy’s mouth.
Fight Scorecard: Fisher via bloodying the guy’s mouth.
A Guy You Want To Drink With vs. A Guy You Want To Punch
Fight Combatants: Eisen vs. Florio
Fight Details: Tempers sorta flared this week as NFL free agency and trade news heated up. Florio, boned up on trade news, gets into some speculation over Percy Harvin headaches. Rich Eisen, while making a bologna sandwich and looking at his iPad Twitter account, catches Florio in dbag mode.
Fight Scorecard: It’s a draw. Eisen, realizing he has nothing to gain and a bologna sandwich to eat, doesn’t engage with the dbag.
Erin Andrews Can Defend Herself Pretty Damn Well
Fight Combatants: Erin Andrews & some flea
Fight Details: Want to start a war with Erin Andrews because you’re a stalker with multiple Twitter accounts and you secretly have a fascination with the godmother of sideline reporting?
She will engage with your ass.
The Champ Remains Undefeated By Smacking Away This Flea
Fight Combatants: Dana & some flea
Fight Details: You want a big UFC weekend. How about UFC 158 featuring GSP vs. Nick Diaz. That’s just about as big as it’s going to get in the UFC right now and probably through the rest of 2013. GSP is the stoic champion while Diaz is the trash-talking punk from California who has said that St. Pierre is on “plenty of steroids.”
It’s a huge pay-per-view vacuum. And this this flea comes in to take a shot at the champ.
Sure, the undercard is kinda a mess, but you still get GSP on his home turf against the arrogant Diaz. It’s perfect theater.
Fight Scorecard: Point….White. Game over.