Somebody better tell NBA All Star Game MVP Chris Paul to hide his son Little Chris, because The Boshman is coming!
The 2013 NBA All Star Game was more competitive than an NBA fan might expect, with the West outscoring the East, 143-138, in Houston on Sunday. Paul won the MVP honors with 20 points and 15 assists, but it was Lakers’ guard Kobe Bryant who helped wrap up the win by blocking Miami’s LeBron James twice in the waning minutes of the game. Lakers’ Nation’s Daniel Buerge asked LeBron about those blocks:
Ok. Moving right along…
The game was, as planned, more of an entertainment spectacle. In-game interviews were conducted by the sartorially special Craig Sager. Sager, the NBA’s Don Cherry, wore a coat with a pattern that looked like a bullfighter got into a fight with some 1970s paneling. Even Darryl Dawkins would take that piece to Goodwill, Sager.
Superstars Jay Z and Beyonce took their seats well before the game. The King and Queen were mock-served by a casual Drake. Jay also took time to pose with Diddy later (see gallery).
The pregame entertainment was generally dreadful, with Kesha taking the brunt of the bile on Twitter.
Kesha looks like she spits inside her house
— Juan Sosa (@RacistJuan) February 18, 2013
Kesha look like her vagina smells like wet basement — Han Sole Lo™ (@Deftronic) February 18, 2013
Hopefully Diddy signs Kesha so we never have to hear her music again. — C.J.M. (@EveryoneHatesCJ) February 18, 2013
Ne-Yo had sound problems and the introductions and the national anthem took forever. However, the very hot Demaris Lewis was spectacular in her intro video. Plenty of shots of her in the string bikini in the gallery below.
Once the game got started there weren’t as many highlights as usual, but LeBron did get two early oops down.
Before halftime, Chris Paul and Tony Parker decided to each break Chris Bosh’s ankles and “nutmegg” him (dribble between his legs). The West took a 69-65 lead into the break. Bosh also got Blake Griffin nut sack in his face later (see gallery).
The halftime show featured Alicia Keys, whose singing talent is never in question, even if much of the country can predict her playlist. Sunday, Twitter hammered on her pants.
— Cork Gaines (@CorkGaines) February 18, 2013
The game became more competitive in the second half, but it’s not like either all-star team locked down on defense…except for the Bulls’ Joakim Noah, who only plays defense because no one pays to see him shoot. It didn’t matter; Paul buried a few threes in his face to keep the West ahead. Later, Kobe jumped in to help stop the East by defending LeBron, and that was the ball game.
At 34, Bryant doesn’t seem like the star elder statesman of the NBA, but he is. He’s also much more intense than his current all-star peers. Proof is below:
The rest of the NBA season starts Tuesday.