You’ve been sitting around the house, eating greasy pizza, watching the NFL Network and avoiding your annoying girlfriend or wife. You haven’t moved off the couch in 48 hours and your phone died, rendering your Twitter account worthless.
Meanwhile, sports smack-talking maniacs have been using social media and other outlets to vent on fellow combatants. Athletes are fighting writers. Writers are fighting writers. Athletes are fighting fans.
This is where Busted Coverage steps in on a weekly basis. The gatekeepers.
If someone is in a sports-related war, we’re all ears. If you know of a sports-related beef, we want to hear about it. There are no sports beefs too small for The Schoolyard editors. Try us.
Deadspin vs. Donald Trump
Fight Combatants: Deadspin & America’s #1 troll, Donald Trump
Fight Details: Deadspin writes the story that ESPN wouldn’t. Deadspin writes the story that Pete Thamel of Sports Illustrated missed. Deadspin went on a media victory lap for exposing Manti Te’o as either a deranged maniac or a gullible idiot.
Of course Donald Trump wanted in on that action with a congratulatory tweet. The only problem is that he left out the co-author Jack Dickey from that tweet. Wrong move, Trumpster.
UPDATE: Trumpster fires back.
Fight Scorecard: Draw. Trump came back strong by bringing money into the mix. Great fight.
Chael Sonnen vs. Lance Armstrong
Fight Combatants: The best trash talker in the UFC, Sonnen, vs. a beaten man
Fight Details: Chael dropped this tweet on Tuesday.
Hey Bike Boy, once you are done apologizing to Oprah, pedal on over to @jimrome show and apologize to me too.
Fight Scorecard: Lance didn’t respond. Fight called via rear-naked choke.
Brandon McCarthy vs. Pokemon-like Cartoon Character Parody Account
Fight Combatants: Diamondbacks pitcher Brandon McCarthy vs. @Love_that_Goku
Fight Details: It’s unclear why McCarthy, known for his Twitter prowess, was fighting with an anime-esque parody Twitter account, but things escalated rather quickly in this war between a rich baseball player and some guy who loves cartoons.
Fight Scorecard: Love That Goku by decision. McCarthy probably would’ve taken this fight until he went with the grandma burn. That’s just uncalled for.
Michigan State Basketball Players Branden Dawson vs. Adreian Payne
Fight Combatants: Michigan St. basketball players Branden Dawson (left) and Adreian Payne
Fight Details: Tom Izzo says that a Wednesday fight between two of his players at the team hotel was over practice gear. According to media reports, the players “got in a pushing and shoving altercation.”
Dawson and Payne, normally starers, were benched for Wednesday’s game against Penn State. As for the hotel damage created during the fight, Izzo says the players will pay for the repairs.
Fight Scorecard: Draw.
Lance vs. Oprah vs. His Old Cycling Enemies
Fight Combatants: Lance Armstrong and his demons
Fight Details: Oprah seemed to rent a suite at a Hampton Inn for her biggest TV interview since Tom Cruise jumped on her couch. Lance was going to be no-holds barred. He was going to answer all the questions honestly and come clean about his doping. It was to be Lance’s final battle with the cycling community.
And then it came out of his mouth. Lance called himself an “arrogant prick.”
He used PEDs to win the Tour de France. In fact, he used pretty much every doping cocktail known to man. Oh, and Lance says the doping stopped in 2005, meaning he came back clean to finish 3rd in the 2009 race.
Fight Scorecard: Oprah, 1st round KO. Mr. Livestrong was finished two minutes into the interview.