Sammy Sosa’s English Is Suddenly Superb On Twitter, Facebook

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Sammy Sosa, a guy who hit 609 home runs, retired and then disappeared to the obscurity of Latin America (Miami), has stepped back into society via a suddenly serious social media presence.

For a guy who made $124,000,000 during his baseball career, you’d think that Slammin’ would just sail off into the sunset and whiten his face with cream of pearls.

Not Sammy.

He started using Facebook consistently in late 2012 and has spent the early part of 2013 ramping up his Twitter account (@TheRealMr609). There was also news last week that Sosa had a Pinterest account. So metrosexual of Sammy.

But why?

There has to be a significant reason for someone spending so much time ramping up his brand. For a guy who, in 2005, wouldn’t speak English in front of Congress, Sosa can’t contain his English or command for the English language on social media. (Note: Yes, we are 99.99999% sure Sammy hired a social media editor. Shouldn’t that editor at least misspell a word here or there?

Sammy even knows where to put commas and possessive apostrophes.

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As for Facebook, Sammy’s team can’t emphasis enough that fans are corresponding with the real Sammy.

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It’s not that we’re mad at Team Sosa for this social media farce. It’s just that we’d like Sammy to miss a comma or apostrophe here and there just to be a little more human and not a weird white-ish black subhuman who made $124,000,000 over a mostly fraudulent baseball career.

Stop this right now.

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