You’ve been sitting around the house, eating greasy pizza, watching the NFL playoffs and avoiding your annoying girlfriend or wife. You haven’t moved off the couch in 48 hours and your photo died, rendering your Twitter account worthless.
Meanwhile, sports smack-talking maniacs have been using social media and other outlets to vent on fellow combatants. Athletes are fighting writers. Writers are fighting writers. Athletes are fighting fans. Parents are fighting fans.
This is where Busted Coverage steps in on a weekly basis. The gatekeepers.
If someone is in a sports-related war, we’re all ears. If you know of a sports-related beef, we want to hear about it. There are no sports beefs too small for The Schoolyard editors. Try us.
Sunday Times (London) vs. Lance Armstrong
Fight Combatants: An angry British newspaper vs. a remoseful Lance Armstrong
Fight Details: The Sunday Times pays for a full-page ad in the Chicago Tribune with a few questions for Oprah to ask the disgraced Tour de France champion.
Fight Scorecard: Armstrong KO’d in 1st round and decides it’s not worth getting off the canvas.
Manti Te’o’s Dad vs. Hawaii Newspaper Headline Writers
Fight Combatants: Brian Te’o vs. a Hawaii newspaper
Fight Details: Brian, still reeling from Manti’s poor performance in the BCS Championship, threw down on the Honolulu Star-Advertiser for how it treated his son after the embarrassing loss to Alabama.
Te’o lashed out at the newspaper with this post on Facebook. The message has since been deleted.
Fight Scorecard: Well, Te’o had his ass kicked up and down the field at Joe Robbie. Advantage – newspaper. Via KO.
Pete Rose vs. His Girlfriend’s Son
Fight Combatants: Pete Rose & his Asian girlfriend’s son
Fight Details: Pete’s reality show debuted Sunday night on TLC. Episode highlights include Pete attending a Little League game; Pete managing kids in his pool while appearing to be jonesing to make a few bets in Vegas; Pete takes Kiana Kim and her son to MMA gym.
The episode ends with Pete telling the boy: “You kick me in the balls & I’m going to knock you on your ass.”
Fight Scorecard: The kid – via decision – without even kicking Rose in the nuts. Pete’s discipline of his arm candy’s kids is comical and worthless.
Brendon Ayanbadejo vs. Patriots Nation
Fight Combatants: Brendon Ayanbadejo and Patriots fans
Fight Details: Ayanbadejo, the Ravens linebacker, spent Sunday on Twitter making friends in Boston by trashing the Patriots offense in a series of tweets that won’t sit well with Hoodie.
Examples from @brendon310: “New England does some suspect stuff on offense. Can’t really respect it. Comparable to a cheap shot b4 a fight(.)”
“Are you watching the game pats vs texans? If so you see the hurry snap offense catch em b4 they set up. It’s a gimmick.”
Fight Scorecard: Draw; Settle it on the field next week with the Super Bowl on the line.
Tim Tebow’s Brother vs. Broncos
Fight Combatants: Peter Tebow (Timmy’s brother) and (indirectly) Peyton Manning
Fight Details: Peyton Manning throws for 290 yards, 3 TDs and 2 INTs in a crippling loss to the Ravens; Peter Tebow has a Twitter account, is a Christian & a smartass.
Peter writes on Twitter after Broncos loss: “Am I the only one in Denver who’s happy right now?” Obviously this is a swipe at Peyton Manning, ownership and anyone else involved with shipping his brother to the Jets bench.
Meanwhile, Champ Bailey & Rahim Moore play in the Broncos secondary. Joe Flacco ONLY had 331 yards passing and three touchdowns.
Fight Scorecard: Tebow by KO; Manning didn’t throw a punch.