“Oh, look honey, Debbie has a Tim Tebow ornament in her Christmas tree.”
No words would get my ass to leave a Christmas party any quicker than those. Who needs a stupid Tim Tebow ornament in a tree where a good reindeer should go? Can’t you morons go 25 days or so without covering a Christmas tree with New England Patriots bulbs? Seriously, your family knows which NFL team you root for. You think Santa gives a shit?
What about Ohio State fan. Those people are absolutely the worst. They’ll have a Brutus, an Ohio State football bulb – or 20 – and a dumb ornament of morons doing the O-H-I-O. That’s not the worst part. Then, those OSU morons will take like 30 photos of a Christmas tree and clog up your Facebook timeline.
Again, the worst.
Oh, look, a Jeff Gordon ornament! WEEEEEEEE! Someone get me another bourbon on the rocks before I choke Debbie.
So here we go. The worst ornaments (excluding the Jerry Sandusky; that is a treasure) morons will put in their tree this year.