My Ticket To Instant Retirement & You Losers Aren’t Getting A Penny Of It

The 20 Most Popular Female Athletes On Bing [PHOTOS]The 20 Most Popular Female Athletes On Bing [PHOTOS]
Jets-Cardinals Tickets Going For $14; Average Face Value $117.94Jets-Cardinals Tickets Going For $14; Average Face Value $117.94

Call me crazy, but that fifth play looks perfect. It has the low number, a couple of mid-rangers, a 35 that doesn’t bother me and a nice Andy Dalton for the Powerball.

Looking over this tax chart for the $500 million Powerball drawing shows that, in Ohio, I’ll be paying $21,612,000 off the top for the 6.5% tax rate on the cash option. That’ll leave $248,538,000 to throw one helluva party with strippers, midgets and Kevin The Intern shooting bottle rockets out of their asses.

Sorry for partying, losers.

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