While baseball dorks are fretting over the 2012 MLB awards (like Bryce Harper and Mike Trout wouldn’t win ROY), we’ve been racking our brains for the 1st Annual MLB WAG Awards. With categories like Twitter WAG off the Year and WAG Throwback of the Year, we’re giving out awards you baseball-hating guys actually care about.
What did we learn about baseball WAGs this year? It’s still the best paying WAG job in sports. While NFL WAGs need to worry about their American Express-providing meal ticket being employed by 26, baseball WAGs are looking at massive new contracts. Take Larisa Fraser, fiancée of Ryan Braun. His new contract will pay him at least $120 million.
The competition for these WAG awards was stiff. There was a battle for ROY WAG and plenty of discussion over the WAG Throwback of the Year. Let’s just say that John Lackey divorcing his cancer stricken wife in February was not the winner.
MLB Relationship: Girlfriend of Derek Jeter
Judge comments: “There were a couple different options in this category, but when you stop and think that Hannah is the rebound girlfriend after Jeter dumped Minka Kelly, this category is a no-brainer. Sure, he’ll probably dump Davis during the offseason.”
MLB Relationship: Ex-fiancée of Will Middlebrooks
Judge comments: “Um, she was only engaged to Middlebrooks until the relationship ended during the season. Call me crazy, but that is the true definition of least valuable. Very embarrassing for any WAG. The ultimate insult.”
MLB Relationship: Girlfriend of Justin Verlander
Judge comments: “This is almost not fair to the other WAGs in the category. Helluva pickup by Verlander just before the all-star break. And not only does the guy start dating arguably the hottest chick of the 21 century, he also talks her into spending time with him in Detroit instead of partying in Paris. Amazing.”
MLB Relationship: Engaged to Ryan Braun
Judge comments: “The guy backs up his 2011 MVP season with a 41 dong, 112 RBI season and manages to stay in a relationship with Fraser. Then he goes and gets engaged. She’s sitting on that $120 million – guaranteed – pending the prenup. Insane year for both.”
MLB Relationship: Girlfriend of Evan Longoria
Judge comments: “The couple live tweeted and Edmondson uploaded a video from Tropical Storm Debby flooding where Longoria used his Jeep to push a car out of the waters. That is how you use Twitter. Sure, the big money was on Amanda McCarthy to win this award, but I’m tired of seeing and hearing about Oakland. It’s quite depressing.”
MLB Relationship: Girlfriend of Bryce Harper
Judge comments: “Flip a coin. You want this award to go to Mike Trout’s girlfriend, Jessica Cox? Cool. Varner got more votes. She’s hotter, plays soccer at BYU and has a much more interesting Twitter account. We’re just waiting for her to slip up and break a few BYU rules. Combine all that and you have a breakout star.”
MLB Relationship: Girlfriend of ARod
Judge comments: “Some might be confused by this category. This is really an award for a baseball player who will likely be throwing back his WAG in the offseason. No way ARod and Torrie Wilson make it through the winter. The guy is a complete mess and will likely find a different muscle chick to workout with. They’ll be done by January…if they aren’t already.”