You know what summer Olympic sport completely bores us and makes about as much sense as speed skating at the winter Olympics? This bicycling race they call team sprint. It’s where either two or four man/women teams race against another country – on bicycles. Fastest time wins the medal. Of course there are other intricacies. Don’t bother telling us.
Oh, and there are many moments of porn, too!
You put a creepy bald dude and his homeboys behind women in skin suits and have them assume the team sprint starting position and we take notice.
Sidenote: the German with gigantic quads won a bronze medal in the Team Sprint. Guess the hambones aren’t big enough to snag gold. Lesson learned.