You know the routine. It’s Thursday, Gronk & Team Jizz Blaster roll into another town with their Zubaz, thirsts & raging hormones. Only one thing stands between the Team & gash – an OK from the prey. So there was Meridith Pineapples (@LaPinaCoolada) yesterday at Foxwoods working as a Nantucket Nectar model. Next thing she knows, Gronk is making a gash move.
These golf outings aren’t foreign to you. Famous guys go golfing, stop at each hole, take turns figuring out which chick they want to bang back at the MGM Foxwoods and then pull out the driver. Gronk, having that mammoth new contract, obviously gets to go first for Team JB.
He eyeballs Pineapples and figures she’s blonde, has the best tan & is wearing the slutiest skirt he’s seen since partying at the MGM in Vegas a couple weeks ago. He’s all set.
Pineapples seems down, too.
TRANSLATION: Pineapples & her girlfriend got naked for Team JB.
There’s more romancing, this time at 1 a.m. when Gronk starts working on Pineapples’ ass.
Translation: Gronk is approximately T-15 minutes from plowing Pineapples.
And, finally, we have the payoff tweet this afternoon when Pineapples is finally able to steady her fingers to tweet with her smartphone.