Of course we Americans are big, fat pigs who’ll consume giant food items because we’re fascinated with challenges especially at baseball games. And here you thought Washington Nationals fans wouldn’t order & eat the 8-pound, $59 StrasBurger. Blasphemy! Not only are they ordering it, they’re documenting their exploits as if this is something to be proud of. You fat idiots deserve to die on the way home from blockage. Is that burger organic? Maybe we’re in.
Dan Steinberg at the Washington Post received this dispatch from yesterday’s Nats-Reds game. A couple of boring bros tackled the big meat.
“The waitress said we were the second people to order the burger, after a lone StrasBurger-consuming individual whose identity is mysterious (in that I don’t care),” Andrew later wrote to me. “It was a fun and memorable way to celebrate Opening Day, but if I ever eat that thing again I will bring more people.”
The burger not enough for you? Don’t worry, they throw in a cone of fries to wash down the heart attack burger. Experts say this monster packs 10,000 calories. Michael Phelps’ legendary diet called for 12,000 calories per day. Doctors at Lance Armstrong’s Livestrong foundation say that normal caloric intake for those of you around 30-years of age should be in the 2,000-to-3,000 range depending on if you’re a male or female.
Someone needs to step up and eat the entire spread without help. 8 pounds just slammed down your throat. Be a hero.