Would You Pay $7 To Hear Rob Gronkowski Give Speech At University Of Rhode Island?

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“Yeah, Gronk, what’s the most broads you’ve banged in one Fiesta?” Or, “Uh, yeah, hey bro. Big fan. You ever crush two broads and bonged three beers at the same time?” What about, “Gronk, how do you tell fat broads it’s time to go after you’ve banged them in the shower on spring break?” Get your questions together, Rhode Island meatheads. Your hero is coming to the Kingston campus to give an actual speech. Not kidding. $7.

From what we’re reading about this “Evening with Gronk” those involved can’t really determine what the Patriots tight end will even talk about at this April Fiesta. Will there be autographs? Unclear. Will students be allowed to bring beer bongs for their hero to autograph? Unclear. Will broads be lined up like American Idol and Gronk gets to send them through to an after-party Fiesta? Unclear.

Look, all we know about this event is that you pay $7 and have an evening with Gronk. It’s a gamble. You can save the $7 and go to 25¢ draft night at the bar or spend the big money and possibly get your boobs or beer bong autographed. However, you might spend the $7 and hear about this guy banging sluts at the University of Arizona. Is that really worth $7 of your beer money?

The tickets are on sale today at the Memorial Union box office. Don’t delay.

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