Ladies, your baseball dream has come true. The Texas Rangers have finally figured out what you want to eat during a game in the middle of August when it’s like 115 at Rangers Ballpark. Here it is, the 2-foot hot dog that’ll set you back $26. The silver lining is that this meat missile is meant for two consumers. Imagine racing your husband/boyfriend/partner to the middle.
So. Much. Fun!
By the time you add shredded cheese, chili, sautéed onions and fries, the entire plate could weigh two pounds. And it’s likely to add more than that to your waist line.
“I don’t know how many calories are in this thing, but it’s got to be 2,000 or 3,000,” said Casey Rapp, operations manager for Sportsservice, which handles concessions at the park.
Look, $26 is a complete joke, you morons. Here’s a better idea: buy 4 hot dogs, put them on a paper plate, tell your kids you just bought them the 2-footer but asked the pimple popper serving them to cut them up for the family.
And what idiot wants cheese, chili, onions and fries on a hot dog at the ballpark? Have we, as a nation, gotten to the point where the ‘free’ mustard and onions aren’t enough?
What’s next, the souvenir pony keg of soft serve ice cream for your party of 8? The pork tenderloin that’s the size of a flattened batting helmet?