YES, YES, YES, YES, this happened in Gainesville, Florida. Yes, someone in Ohio will trump this idiot by Friday morning. Yes, his wheelchair got stuck in the sand after he stole a 12-pack and electrical tape. Yes, he was wearing a Florida Gators hat and Gators sweatshirt. We’re still waiting for the surveillance video to be released because this story might be one of our all-time favorite Cuff ‘Ems.
The 54-year-old clerk on duty told police that a man in a motorized wheelchair wearing a Gator hat and Gator sweatshirt had been going in and out of the store for several hours Wednesday evening. At about 9:45 p.m., according to the clerk, the man maneuvered his chair around to the back of the counter while he was holding a pocket knife and demanded the money from the cash register.
The clerk told police that she got into a struggle with the man and stabbed him in the leg three times before he overpowered her. He left the store carrying a 12-pack of beer and a roll of electrical tape — items worth a total of about $20.
Officer Justin Douglas found Champion and his wheelchair stuck behind the store. Champion was drinking a beer. He told Douglas that he had been in the store and stolen some items, but said he did not rob the store.
This isn’t Champion’s first brush with Internet fame. In September he made news after he shot himself in the foot with an arrow while hunting. The moneyshot to that story was that John got his Polaris vehicle stuck on brush and couldn’t get his foot loose from the arrow to go get help.
John C. Champion, a paraplegic all of us can somewhat feel sorry for. Just trying to get beer, kill animals and not shoot himself with arrows.