Hey, now you’ve got a reason to watch the Pro Bowl!
We’re just kidding. There’s no reason to watch the Pro Bowl. The Pro Bowl sucks. We’ve got everything you need right here. We’ve got things like Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton’s shoes, which are hideous.
Are they made of papier-mâché? Kind of looks like it. We’re not really sure those will make it through the game, but hell, they make a statement!
Cam Newton says to himself, “I am so badass, I can wear papier-mâché shoes that are yellow and orange and have blue laces! You can’t see me!”
Oh yes we can!
Seriously, though. Newton took the place of New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning in the Pro Bowl and he deserved to. He’s probably the best rookie quarterback in the history of the NFL. Newton threw for 4,051 yards and 21 touchdowns this season. He also ran for another 706 yards and 14 touchdowns.
In case you can’t do math, that’s 35 touchdowns.
So, Cam can probably wear whatever crappy papier-mâché shoes he wants.