Minnesota Sports Is Pathetic: Sportsperson Of Year Is WNBA Player!

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The sporting scene in Minnesota has reached a new, pathetic low, which says a lot, considering some of the lows they’ve reached before. The Star Tribune, the rag of record in the state, has chosen Seimone Augustus as their sportsperson of the year.

Now, we know what you’re saying. Who in the holy hell is Seimone Augustus?

Rightly, we had no idea either because she plays in the WNBA and we’d hardly qualify women playing basketball as “sport” or “athletics.” Personally, I’d rather have someone stab both of my eyes with a fork than be forced to watch a WNBA game.

More importantly, the selection reflects the pathetic state of Minnesota sports.

In short, the Star Tribune had no other choice.

The Minnesota Lynx — that would be the local WNBA franchise — won the WNBA championship and we’re pretty sure two or three people even noticed. Augustus was named WNBA Finals MVP.

Now, let’s take a look at the rest of the sporting landscape in Minnesota.

  • Minnesota Vikings — currently 3-12 and the third worse team in the NFL
  • Minnesota Timberwolves — finished last season 17-65
  • Minnesota Twins — finished 63-99, last in the AL Central
  • Minnesota Wild — finished last season 39-35-8, missed playoffs for third season in a row
  • Minnesota Golden Gophers football — finished 3-9 and 2-6 in the Big 10
  • Minnesota Golden Gophers basketball — finished last season 17-14 and 6-12 in the Big 10

It’s tough to pick a sportsperson of the year from a team that more or less sucks balls. At least, we would think.

Otherwise, you could make an argument for the Timberwolves’ Kevin Love, who made his first All-Star appearance, led the NBA in rebounding with 15.2 per game, won Most Improved Player honors, plays a sport someone watches and is an actual athlete.

It’s real hard to ignore that win total though. Just like it’s real hard to ignore how much the teams from Minnesota suck these days.

At least you’d think they could have found a curler or speedskater to name sportsperson of the year.
[Sportsperson of the Year: Seimone Augustus]

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