There are days when cops roll up to a McDonald’s to order a couple doubles with cheese and snag a large order of fries because it’s going to be another boring day of acting like they’re running radar. Then there are days in Florida when cops roll up to a McDonald’s and encounter John Dickson. Cops get out of the car and the first thing they notice is that Dickson smells like shit. Literally, like a giant pile of steaming shit. And then the cop earns his money.
Will Greenlee at Off The Beat has the shitty details:
When a deputy spoke to John Wescott Dickson Jr. at McDonald’s, the deputy was greeted by a “strong” smell that many would consider unpleasant. The odor was of what the deputy believed to be feces, according to recently released Martin County Sheriff’s records.
Two witnesses said Dickson was asked to leave “due to his overpowering odor of feces,” a report states. As the deputy arrested Dickson, the deputy noticed “brown streaks” on Dickson’s jeans.
The deputy reported Dickson couldn’t sign a trespass warning “due to having feces on his hands and being in handcuffs,” records state.
Yep, you read that right. Dickson just hanging out at Mickey D’s with deuce on his penmanship hand. Look, we understand there are times when you wipe and maybe get a little remnant splash of deuce on the lower portion of your finger. Happens to the best of us.
Just think of how much shit Dickson had on that hand for the cop to just say ‘F@ck it.’ Lots. And we’re pretty sure soaking the handcuffs in peroxide will be futile.
Actually, come to think of it, I’m about to puke up these chocolate covered blueberries that were part of my balanced breakfast.