Will Lindsey Vonn Steal Tim Tebow’s Virginity? [PHOTOS]
Enough of the bullshit, Vonn. We’re onto you. You go and file divorce papers against your husband back in November and by December 11 you are in the private family box of Baby Jesus watching him take the Denver Broncos to first place in the AFC West. Will you put your hand on the Bible that you haven’t given Tim Tebow a boner over the last 30 days? Will you claim that Tim Tebow hasn’t put his throwing hand down your Spyder vest? Is it Christian of you to leave a marriage for Tebow?
How big of a deal did Vonn make out of visiting with the Tebow family on Sunday? She penned a special report of her big day for the Denver Post.
A lot of people are wondering what’s up with me and the Tebows. I’m just friends with the family. I met Tim and his brother Pete at the ESPY Awards like three or four years ago in the gym — we were working out there. I spent more time with Tim and his brother at the V Foundation Golf Tournament, and this year at the ESPYs.
Tim presented me with my ESPY award this year, and we kind of chatted. I said, “If you want to come up to Vail and ski, let me know.” Robby invited me to one of their games a few weeks ago. Then we ended up being able to race at Beaver Creek, so he came up for that last Wednesday.
Woah, guilty friggin’ conscious. You start a paragraph with “A lot of people are wondering what’s up with me and the Tebows.” Friends? So you guys just pop open a Bible and converse about the Lord?
Busted Coverage Questions For Lindsey Vonn:
• Would you have any issues taking Tim Tebow’s virginity?
• Have you felt Tim’s package?
• When you felt Tim’s package, did you feel a bolt of lightning?
• Did you ever have sexual thoughts towards Tim Tebow when you invited Tim to Vail?
• Did Tim Tebow ever mention that he enjoyed your company but couldn’t trade AIM messages because you were married?
• Is it true watching Tebow win a game in OT for women is like watching Jenna Jameson porn for a guy in 1998? So stunning?
• Do you think Tim Tebow’s first sexual experience should be with a non-virgin?
• Has Tim Tebow ever asked you to downhill Mt. St. Tebow?
• Has Tim Tebow ever asked to touch the slopes?
• Has Tim Tebow ever said he can’t have sex with you because you’re a dirty tramp who posed nearly naked for SI?
So many damn questions with this story. You haven’t heard the last from us on this. The armor protecting Tim Tebow’s dating life from becoming public is showing signs of failure. It’s just a matter of time before Baby Jesus drops a 4th quarter bomb on Vonn and BC will have the investigators (BC Photo Editor Big Gay Rich volunteered) there to inspect the evidence.