We saw this story floating around yesterday but didn’t want to opine on Virginia Valdez until getting a peek at the mugshot. Now it’s all a little clearer as to why she tried to cut off her husband’s penis. She’s angry. Look at that face. The eyes that barely open. Those glasses that scream ‘Leave my ass alone. I don’t care how many Viagra you pop, I’m not letting your penis anywhere near the vag.’
A 67-year-old woman is in police custody Sunday after she allegedly tried to cut off her husband’s penis with a pair of scissors. Palm Springs police received a report of an assault at a home on the 1700 block of Rochelle Road around 5:45 p.m. Saturday. According to a press release, when officers arrived they found the 62-year-old man with injuries to his genital area. The man told officers that his wife had attempted to sever his penis with a pair of scissors. He was taken to a local hospital for treatment.
The injuries were deemed non-life threatening and he was later released.
Rest easy, fellas, Virginia remains in jail. Pffft, like the husband is going to bail her ass out. While the dude is going to be fine, this is why we always remind you guys to have a gun safe just for scissors. Your wife wants to do some gardening and needs garden scissors? That’s fine, but they are to be locked up at 8 p.m. – nightly.
You guys need to really start using your brains. These women feel empowered because of Oprah and WE and four hours of the Today Show. One thing leads to another in their heads and cutting off your penis seems like a logical step.
Terrorists plant bombs. Women cut off a penis. The threat levels are high. Be prepared. Never be caught napping on their asses. Next thing you know your penis is in some trash compactor headed for some California trash dump.