The Pac-12 Kicks Oregon PA Announcer To Curb, Brings In Yankees PA D-Bag

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This is what they’re fired up about in Oregon tonight for the first-ever Pac-12 football championship game: the PA announcer. It seems the Pac-12 thought it would be too much of a home-field advantage for the home team to use its PA announcer. Serious as an itchy ballsack. And who did the conference bring in? That smiling d-bag, Paul Olden, who’s the voice of the New York Yankees. You want kicked in the nuts, Oregon? Here comes commissioner Larry Scott.

Oregonian columnist Paul Canzano went absolutely berserk today in a column about tonight’s inevitable ass kicking that’s going to be served up to UCLA.

Scott arrived in Oregon on Wednesday and said he was surprised to learn a couple of hours into his stay that Ducks fans were upset about having their stadium-voice guy replaced with a stranger. I’m surprised that Scott was surprised. Because anyone who has spent much time in a stadium knows that there’s a natural intimacy with the voice that provides the details.

“First down,” might as well be, “I love you.” In fact, I’ve heard Ducks fans talk about Essig’s butter-smooth voice as though it belonged to their spouse. So replacing Essig with an out-of-towner is essentially like going to bed at night with your true love beside you and waking up in the morning with some filthy bearded biker dude getting up to use the restroom.

It’s all good, Ducks’ fan, Oden will be singing Foo Fighters covers at halftime. Seriously, that’s the guy who’s going to be announcing the Oregon Ducks are headed to the 2012 Rose Bowl.

Suck it, Larry Scott.

[Canzano: Pac-12 rains on its own title game with home-field restrictions]

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