We’re still efforting the scenario at LAX on Friday when Anna Kournikova was photographed getting the handy treatment from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. Was this a case of Kournikova refusing the full body scanner treatment or was she picked out by security for possibly transporting some WMDs back to Miami or wherever she was headed? Of course there is no special treatment during these tumultuous times.
Can we really be sure who’s trying to smuggle baggies of nose candy to Miami? No. Can we really be sure Anna Kournikova doesn’t have a shiv taped to her leg? No. We’re tired of these elite liberal idiots who think a former tennis model and Top 50 Most Googled Athlete in the World isn’t capable of shenanigans on an airplane.
We must protect this house.