Sure, Total College Sports only has 31 Twitter ‘followers’ and 90 Facebook ‘likes.’ But the new Internet-only sports channel does have Internet bikini superstar Melanie Collins and ESPN outcast Sean Salisbury manning the anchor desk. Of course this is how you know your sports journalistic career has hit rock bottom. But there is only one way back to prosperity. You put on the makeup, a smile and add Twitter followers one at a time.
What do we know about this Chicago-based startup? Very little because Google searches for ‘Total College Sports’ gives you this. The Facebook page promises, A page that will keep you on your toes…
Coverage from all the major conferences – ACC, BigTen, Big12, Pac12 and SEC. Exclusive programming combined with weekly highlights and analysis for everyone to share, review, and express their views.
Someone, in these strange economic times, had some extra money to throw straight out a window. Look, it’s not like Melanie Collins (whom we discovered way back in 2007) is going to cost you that much money. But a girl’s gotta eat when her boyfriend, Scottie Upshall, is off playing for the Florida Panthers and is -4 +/- in 2011.
Then we have Salisbury. He’s been broadcasting Lingerie Football Games. It’s actually good to see Sean back and teaming with a former bikini model because, as we all know, this is how good $%^& ends up on the Internet. Somebody gets drunk at the Total College Sports Christmas party and dong shots blast off from one phone to another.
Anyway, the big guess, via this tweet, is that Total College Sports is playing with Tribune money. Prepare to be drilled with Sean Salisbury ‘takes’ when you visit Trib properties across the country. It’s going to be exactly the content you take 15 minutes out of your day to watch after spending two hours watching SportsCenter.
Big suggestion from Busted Coverage’s experts: get Melanie Collins away from that desk and less clothing. You want to make money in this economy? Slut it up. Take the Fox approach. No shoulder covered – ever.
Also, the sound on the set sucks. Let’s tighten it up, gentlemen.