Missy Coles was just going along with her life as a buxom fitness model on the bodybuilding circuit and then her boyfriend had to go and tweet about her. That’s it, bloggers figure out the puzzle and suddenly Phillies’ pitcher Michael Schwimer finds his girlfriend is now lusted after by drunken, loser fools on the Internet. Of course you haven’t heard of Schwimer.
He was called up in late August, but figures to be with the big club next season, possibly out of the bullpen. Time to update your WAG lists accordingly.
Schwimer tweeted yesterday:
That’s all it took for our friends at Crossing Broad to spring into action.
A brief look into the Missy Coles’ file reveals that she’s a Florida State graduate (go figure) and she works in public relations. She’s originally from Tampa (go figure) and now lives in Philadelphia with Schwimer. Look, this is the smart play from this guy. You snag her (likely at spring training in Clearwater) and never let her out of your sight. You also tell John Mayberry Jr. that you’ll break his leg if he starts perpetrating.
As for the implants, because it’s on your minds, not big fans. But, we understand the need since she’s in the fitness model world. Kinda goes hand in hand. It’s like a three-hitter who was taking steroids in 2000. It’s necessary or you fall behind the competition.
Anyway, keep your eyes on these kids. You give Schwimer a World Series ring, a raise and the sky is the limit for the Coles/Schwimer tandem.