Cleveland Browns fans don’t have a lot to hold onto, so when they get something positive they make sure they take it way too far.
Enter running back Peyton Hillis, who came out of nowhere to rush for 1,177 yards last season. Throw in the fact that he’s white and has a bruising running style and you’ve got yourself a real, live Cleveland cult hero.
Browns fans started coming up with Peyton Hillis facts which, if you don’t know, are a rip-off of Chuck Norris facts. Chuck Norris facts celebrate Norris’ badassedness by saying something like, “Chuck Norris doesn’t push himself up when he’s doing push-ups, he pushes the earth away.”
Peyton Hillis doesn’t run downhill, that’s just the ground trying to get away from him.
Peyton Hillis fines Roger Goodell for weak hits.
There’s even a shirt that says, “Even Chuck Norris Fears Peyton Hillis!”
So what did Hillis do to launch his website, PeytonHillis.com? He made a video called Peyton Hills vs. Chuck Norris, complete with poorly executed karate kicks and Walker, Texas Ranger gear.
Doesn’t Hillis know Good Guys Wear Black?
Unfortunately, there’s no appearance by Chuck Norris, but the video is still good for a laugh.