Best Tailgating Beers Man Has Ever Engineered [Investigation]

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Being from Wisconsin, it happens that I know a lot about two things – football and beer.

Unfortunately, I don’t know much about anything else, but that’s not important at this time.

Coming from one of the last sanctuaries for tailgating – Green Bay – means I’m well schooled in getting properly shitfaced before the game.

Hell, Lambeau Field is cold, especially when you show up at 9 a.m. for a noon kickoff. You need something to make you forget the temperature.

With that in mind, here’s the completely-biased Busted Coverage list of best beers to tailgate with. And remember, tailgating is for true football fans who know that getting soused before kickoff is part of the fun. If you want something fancy, go have a glass of wine outside Sun Life Stadium or a fish taco at CenturyLink Field. This list is for people who grill dead animals and wear stupid novelty hats.

Pabst – Nothing says I’m ready to get ripped up better than a can of PBR. It’s a classic beer for those in the know. The only problem with tailgating with Pabst is you’ll probably have to switch to some lesser beer inside the stadium. Not many places carry it.

Coors Light – Sure, it’s mostly water and pretty much tastes like it, but Coors is perfect if you’re really looking to pound some down. You’re not likely to wake up with a raging hangover because it’s so watery. And if you’re a complete idiot and can’t tell the difference between a cold beer and a warm one, there’s that stupid blue mountain thing on the can.

Milwaukee’s Best – The name is a total misnomer. Milwaukee’s Best isn’t good. It’s what we served at house parties in college because it was so cheap and that’s why it’s on the list. If you’re thrifty, this is the way to go. You can probably get a half barrel for around $50. After three or four, you won’t even notice how bad it tastes and when you get inside the stadium and order a Bud Light it will taste like top-shelf Cognac.

Guinness – It’s not for everyone, but if you favor something heartier then Guinness is the way to go. It’s thick and robust and goes great with grilled meat. It also goes great by itself. Guinness will fill you up and most stadiums carry it.

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Samuel Adams – Sam Adams is just good beer. It’s a premium craft beer, but it isn’t too pretentious for a football game like, say, a Stella Artois. In addition to Sam Adams and Sam Adams Light, there are easonal varieties. The company’s Octoberfest and Winter Lager come out during football season.

Heineken – If you prefer something imported that tastes good, you can’t go wrong with Heineken. Like Samuel Adams, it’s delicious and you won’t look like a sissy drinking it. Corona is for the beach. Leave it there.

Miller Lite – If there was a beer made for tailgating it’s Miller Lite. It has more taste than Coors Light, is inexpensive, won’t kill you with a hangover and is available in most stadiums. Bud Light is swill. They’ve made people forget that fact by doing a ton of marketing. If you want a readily-available beer that tastes good, you go with the light beer from Wisconsin. It goes great with Bratwurst.

Old Fashioned – Okay, it’s not a beer, but a good old fashioned is the perfect tailgating solution for the non-beer drinker (or the person who wants to get blotto). I prefer the classic old fashioned – bourbon, sugar, bitters, and muddled orange and cherry. For a lighter version try an old fashioned sweet, which is topped with Sprite, or and old fashioned sour, which includes a splash of Squirt. If Don Draper went to a football game, this is what he would tailgate with.

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