Yes, we’re now resorting to minor league promotions involving a 69-year-old daredevil being launched out of giant cannons instead of football news. It’s just the nature of ‘things’ in this Summer of ’11. Anyway, David “Cannonball” Smith was in Lowell, Mass. last night to be launched over the Spinners right field fence, giving him the title of “First Human Home Run” in baseball history. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Bayless.
Smith holds the world distance record — 185 feet, 10 inches — and he’s flown through the sky over everything from the Grand Canyon to the famous Las Vegas fountains. Smith will be shot from a cannon located just past second base over the outfield wall to a landing area just in front of the Aiken Street Bride. The Spinners are billing this as the world’s first-ever Human Home Run.
“When it comes to human cannonballs, David Smith is the best of the best,” said Spinners Vice President Jon Goode. “This is an idea we discussed years ago and he saved it for the Lowell Spinners. Five years in the making, this is going to be a night you will not want to miss.”
Five years in the making? Just to launch a guy over a fence? Yet he’s flown over the fountains at Caesars? Whatever you say chief. Kinda feel ripped off by this promotion. You can’t move the cannon to the gap in right-center and call it a home run. Um, home plate and we can talk.
Let’s take you to the video!
(Just so you know, yes, Sr. has passed this job down to his son, Jr. Take note, other minor league baseball marketing dorks. Maybe launching Jr. into one of those “Hit This Sign And Win” billboards?)