What the hell is this? 6,000 people turned out Thursday night for bowling at Cowboys Stadium? That’s right, it’s the new push from bowling officials and ESPN to take a women’s sport and make it a moneymaker. Remember women’s golf? Yeah, it’s history. Too many Asians infiltrating the sport so viewers are losing interest. But bowling is still a cheap sport to produce and lots of white Americans play. Time to make it a spectacle! Enter ESPN – stage right.
Tonight at 6 p.m. you’ll be required to turn on ESPN2 for the U.S. Women’s Open and at least ogle the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, who just happened to be in town to make this event more TV friendly.
This whole production was the brainchild of Steve Johnson, the Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America’s new executive director. He came on board in time for last year’s Open — held in a bowling alley, of all places — and was uninspired by the experience.
“So I said, ‘Where can we showcase the best women athletes from all over the world?’ Cowboys Stadium! We built this thing to be the pinnacle, where any woman bowler would love to come to Cowboys Stadium and win this U.S. Open.”
For that to happen, Johnson needed to convince everyone that women’s bowling belonged on the same field as Super Bowl XLV. He said there were “still skeptics,” even as the finalists warmed up on Thursday night. “But if someone’s not on board with this now, something’s wrong. Because this may be one of the best things that’s ever happened to bowling.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. The even stranger part of all this is how 6,000 people paid $20 per to attend. So wait, you make us sit 40 rows up where we can’t see a bowling ball hitting pins and we can’t smoke Marlboros and drink $1 draft Busch Light? What the hell is this world coming to?