The mystery of the lone Amstel Light has been solved and aren’t we all better off?
What the hell am I talking about?
I’m sure everyone has seen the Boston Bruins’ bar tab from their Stanley Cup victory party at Foxwoods by now. It included the $100,000 bottle of MIDAS Ace of Spade champagne along with more than $8000 worth of less pricey Armand de Brignac Ace varieties and various other drinks. All told, it came to more than $156,000.
Well, someone noticed one of the partyers ordered an Amstel Light and Amstel made it their mission to unearth the drinker of the lone Amstel Light.
Amstel Light has offered free beer for the player’s day with the Stanley Cup, plus more free beer at a Canada Day or Independence Day barbeque if a player fesses up to ordering the Amstel Light.
“We want to reward the Bruin who ordered the Amstel Light to recognize him for making a great decision,” the company said in a press release.
Why no one gave a shit who drank the one Corona or the one Heineken Light, I really don’t know. One possible reason is the people who drank those drinks don’t have a publicist, star in a reality show and aren’t attention whores, which brings me to this.
Reality star/author/blogger/socialite Shallon Lester says she drank the Amstel Light. She admitted as much in an email that conveniently ended up on Deadspin.
As for the Amstel, we were at Shrine (the nighclub inside Foxwoods) and Shawn Thornton was kind enough to pass the Stanley Cup full of Ace of Spades our way, but the champagne was warm and gross so I ordered a beer from the waitress. But if Amstel is keen on giving away beer, I think it should go to Jordan Caron. He was definitely the most excited to be in Lord Stan’s presence and definitely definitely used it to try and get laid.
Don’t worry, I don’t know who the hell Lester is either.
I will say this, though, she’s hot, which is probably her only redeeming quality.
More importantly, over at Lester’s blog we learn other important things about the evening in question, like the fact that Milan Lucic is a super bowler, she wears Jimmy Choo, and her story is iffy.
You’ll notice in the email Lester says she ordered the Amstel Light because the champagne was warm and gross. A reasonable person might assume that means she didn’t drink the champagne. On her blog she tells it a little differently.
But the best bestest moment came when they filled Lord Stanley with champagne and passed it around.
I gotta tell you darlings, I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything so delicious. And so unsanitary.
So, you wouldn’t just be claiming that Amstel to promote your shitty reality show now would you, honey?
Maybe Amstel should send me the beer for unearthing this conspiracy.