Last Gilbert Arenas Plank Ever & Woody Paige Dissecting Women’s World Cup [Burnt Toast]

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Burnt Toast

The Greatest Tweets in the History of the Internet* (*In The Last 24 Hours)

Planking – The Ultimate NBA Collective Bargaining Tool

@AgentZeroShow: My very last plank…ya boy planked @DwightHoward Porsche..lol pls don’t tell him haha

Evidently, Gilbert Arenas and Dwight Howard got in to a “planking” battle last night. If you don’t know what planking is, it’s the age old practice of having someone take a picture while looking like a complete and utter dumbass. It was invented by the Germanic people over 600 years ago. Over the years, planking has been used as a negotitating tactic by parties in order to intimidate their opponent. Thomas Jefferson was known to have leaked pictures of himself planking to the French, which lead to the French getting the horse’s ass end of the deal in the Louisiana Purchase. Clearly, this planking war is another effort by the NBA players to intimidate the NBA Owners before a deal is struck. Advantage: NBA Players

@MrMichael_Smith: Per Peter King, Roger Goodell will address rookies at symposium in Florida, at the request of DeMaurice Smith. Rather significant, I’d say.

I’m thinking this deal is about 95% done, just a few little details here and there. I would think that they will both announce the deal right before or after the July 4th Holiday. It’s all about PR now…..Or then again, Roger Goodell could be using the old Trojan Horse theory, where he jumps on stage at the Rookie Symposium as yells. “Yall Alls F***ed FOOLS!”

@ChrisMannixSI: The voice over on Mayweather montage says “always fighting the best.” Several reporters on press row burst out laughing

If by “always fighting the best” you mean “always ducking fighting the best” then the montage is spot on. Mayweather is probably the most destructive figure to his respective sport. Everyone wants to see him and Pac-Man. I’m hoping he gets his ass whipped in the fight, just so it costs him millions in a PPV fight down the road.

@BCastOZone: Fickell said Pryor left him a message but he was at the Taylor Swift concert. Hasn’t had the opportunity to speak with Pryor since he left.

@BCastOZone: Fickell said if DP put all Big Ten coaches in an octagon, he would come out. 18 years of wrestling to rely on.

Luke Fickell, the new Ohio State coach, is quickly becoming by favorite. The fact that in the same press conference he admits to attending Taylor Swift, and saying that he could kick anyone’s ass in the Octogon is reason enough to pull for the successor of the Sweater Vest.

@RichardDeitsch: Woody Paige just broke down the Women’s World Cup on ATH. Imagine Pauly Shore on the effects of heat-trapping greenhouse gases.

Well, that pretty much sums it up…..On to the game.

 @EDSBS: Goal, North Korea! DPRK Victory-soldier-maidens lead running capitalist pig dogs 1-0! #TweetSponsoredByDPRK

Yeah……I can’t imagine this 2-0 loss to the US went over well with the North Koreans….I wonder how their fearless leader Kim Jong Il decided to spin it….

 @ClayTravisBGD: North Korea blames loss to US on five players being struck by lightning

Yep…..just what I figured.

RDTYBNGBBFOTD:

Religious Dude That You Better Not Get Blocked By Follow of the Day:

@news_va_en

Yep….That’s right. Pope Benedict the IVII4^*XXII is now tweeting. Probably a good idea to follow him, just in case you are cutting it close on judgement day.

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