Seriously, we can’t stop laughing. Nearly choking to death. Convulsions. Why? Chris Bosh is in the news this morning for what is being dubbed by the Mainstream Media Dorks® as the giraffe’s Hangover 3 bachelor party. That Hangover 3 garbage, obviously pumped by some PR retard, is being passed around the Internet. Well, we’re here to show you the real party and provide you with tipsters who say Bosh was eating chocolate strawberries at Tao Beach.
First, let’s show you what the mainstreamers are pumping – via Page 6:
NBA star Chris Bosh‘s Las Vegas bachelor party, dubbed “The Hangover 3,” was a four-day bro-down on the Strip involving guns, booze, red meat and magic over the weekend. “It was everything these guys don’t get to do during the season,” said a source close to the 12-man party posse, including New Orleans Hornets Jarrett Jack and Pops Mensah-Bonsu. They landed in Sin City Thursday and headed straight to a shooting range to blow off steam before moving to N9NE Steak house. Friday included dinner at Lavo before Criss Angel‘s show, “Believe.” Angel pulled Bosh onstage to make him part of the act, and later levitated before the Miami Heat player’s crew backstage.
Now, here is the report from flip flops on the ground at Tao Beach where Bosh scanned the crowd with his telescopic neck while Jack blasted beach balls.
Via, ironically, Cleveland Cavaliers fan Adam Ours live tweeting the scene:
Chris Bosh is 10 ft away at Tao Beach. Cleveland fans want me to pass along a message? I already made sure he knows Dirk is his daddy…
Bosh booed a he walks in.
Bosh an his 12 boys ordered 1 case of beer. Looks like he drinks just as hard as he takes it to the rim…
Oh yeah, Jarret Jack And Joel Anthony rolling with him #boshisatool
Now chocolate strawberrys? Really? You are an NBA power forward. Act like it #boshisatool
Now champagne with raspberries? Really? C’mon man… #boshisatool
Just hit a beach ball at Bosh…probably the beat block he had all season. #boshisatool
Obviously we cannot confirm a bit of this report, but this is the Internet so we’ll take Adam’s word for it. Totally sounds like Bosh’s M.O. so run with it. In the meantime we’ll be efforting Ours to figure out if he has cellphone shots of Jack feeding strawberries to his boy.
Wait for it.
Have more images of The Giraffe in Vegas that we need to see? Maybe one of him shooting a 9mm? Email us.