Your Burnt Toast Editor Peter Burns & His New GF, Lindsay Lohan? [Burnt Toast]

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Burnt Toast

The Greatest Tweets in the History of the Internet* (*In the last 24 hours)

NBA DRAFT CHIMICHANGAS! 

@RichardDeitsch: Just listened to Woody Paige analyze the NBA draft on Around The Horn. Imagine Paris Hilton on the Greek sovereign debt crisis.

Or Miss South Carolina talking about locating America on a World Map. With people writing his material for Around the Horn, you’d think Woody would have been able to bluff out of that 90 seconds. But let’s be honest, if you can break down this year’s draft, you are a sick, sick individual.

@SebastianPruti: On PTI and Around the Horn, there have been 4 people talking about Rubio…I bet none of them have seen him play in the past two seasons.

All these hype for a player that averaged 6 points and 4 assists a game, in the Spanish ACB league? To even mention his name in the same 20 minute window at Pistol Pete Maravich should be a crime punishable by caning, and not the fun S&M type style.

 @BlkSportsOnline:  I don’t think (Tony) Parker is worth a lottery pick.

Dead. Ass. Wrong. Tony Parker is worth a lottery pick. Arguably, I’d take him over anyone after the Top 2 picks tomorrow night. Parker needs a change of scenery. The ego needs a new landing spot. Parker can be a 18/8 guard for any of the lottery teams. He wants to be the man, and a lottery team would give him a chance to be just that. However, the Spurs would be idiots to accept that deal without a solid player in return.

@Chris_Broussard: As far as Odom, Teams worried he won’t b happy or motivated outside of LA. That’s decreasing his value on market….

What a joke. You know the NBA has become a joke when teams don’t want players because they won’t be as famous in another city. This is why your product blows Stern. Fact.

JUICE BOX!!!! 2011 Gold Cup

@SedanoShow: What a pass! Donovan threads the needle! USA USA USA!

Not going to lie. Watched the entire match, and did the awkward white guy fist pump when the US scored. Even crazier, I found myself watching the 2nd match Mexico – Honduras on Univision after the first match. You had me at FIFA ’11.

@EDSBS: CLINT DEMPSEY WANTS THE CANAL BACK BITCH #SOHOOD#SOHOOD #SOHOOD

Obviously there was going to be an onslaught of Panama Canal jokes, but @EDSBS continues to deliver. Which now leads us to US vs Mexico Final, which will break the Guinness World Record for most amount of “Remember The Alamo” jokes in the history of the internet.

There really is only one way to watch Soccer. It’s on Univision. Seriously, Gus Johnson would be the 13th ranked announcer if he worked for them. He’d be doing High School games in Tijuana trying to work his way up the ladder. Such excitement on each mundane play. Plus Univision commercials 3x greater than US TV commercials

Twitter Potpourri

@JimmyTraina: Here’s why Tiki Barber is not liked. He’s doing an interview w/Mike Francesa on WFAN & requested his agent be on the phone during it. #Weak

Francesa should have agreed to letting his agent join the call, as long as he could patch Tiki’s ex-wife in as well. What good is teleconferencing if you aren’t going to use it?

@Dochowser: Ryan Dunn’s BAC was over twice the legal limit–stop b**ching about @ebertchicago & his tweet.

130 Miles an Hour, 20+ Tickets, One previous DUI, and drunk driving. Some might call it Darwinism, some might call it horrible luck. Either way, there are no winners in this argument.

@PeterBurnsRadio: Tampa Bay #Bucs Official busted on upcoming Dateline NBC: To Catch A Predator.

Yes, I quoted my own tweet, as I can’t remember who had it, so it was easier to pull a Woody Paige and claim it as my own. Luxury Suite Salesperson for Bucs busted on upcoming To Catch A Predator. Which lead me to the same exact thought as @Mengus22. WE ARE PUMPED THAT TCAP IS COMING BACK!!!!! I hope they film an entire season in Tuscaloosa and Auburn.

@ClayTravisBGD: OJ will claim self defense per more detailed report

Does anyone in the world actually think that we didn’t commit the crime? Oprah should pledge 100% of the interview ad revenue to the Goldman/Brown Family.

@KirstenBenson: Lindsay Lohan tested positive for alcohol while under house arrest. Court tomorrow.

I met Lindsay at a Incubus concert at the Hollywood Bowl a few years ago…..She had the box right next to us, and showed up with one song left in the ENCORE of the entire concert….she looked like she was coming off a 82 day bender. Drugs are bad…mmmmkay

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