Terrelle Pryor Free Car Days Are Over & Colt McCoy’s Wife Speaks [Burnt Toast]

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Name Those Astros Implants Before Noon EST & Win A Prize [Morning Twitpic]Name Those Astros Implants Before Noon EST & Win A Prize [Morning Twitpic]

BURNT TOAST

The Greatest Tweets in the History of the Internet* (In the last 24 Hours)

HEAT HEIMLICH

@TravisRodgers: LeBron’s pre-game talks are just silly. Like a bad actor reading a worse script.

It’s awfully polite that Dwyane Wade evens lets him join the huddle at this point. It’s like Dwyane is the Godfather of the Heat, and he lets Lebron run the casino and bang cocktail waitresses. (2 at a time)

@IanBelmares Jordan’s Finals games: 36,33,29,28,30,39,39,26,32,46,33,31,42,44,55,41,33,28,29,36,23,26,22,31,38,26,22,38,38,33,37,24,34,28,45

Your Move Pippen……

@ESPN_Macmahon: So, other than a temp of 102, a torn tendon in his middle finger and a franchise on his back, Dirk feels just fine.

Dirk Flu-itski. Yes, I nearly threw up when writing that due to severe corniness. It’s not exactly the Jordan Flu game, but Dirk has one of those memorable nights that if the Mavericks somehow shock the world, this game will grow into legendary status.

@Bruce_Arthur: “We Are All Witnesses” apparently includes LeBron.

Point deducted. Keep the punches up.

@SI_DamonHack: “Put the coffee down, LeBron.” Signed, Alec Baldwin

YOU SEE THIS WATCH????

@Marcel_Mutoni: The LeBron slander is great, because it won’t be as much to make fun of him when he’s crowned an NBA champ in a few days.

That pretty much sums it up. Lebron once again was not much of a factor at all, but he will get his ring. Game 5 & 6 go to the Heat.

Terrelle Pryor Steps Down as Dealership Spokesperson

@PDBuckeyes: BREAKING NEWS: Terrelle Pryor has decided to end his football career at Ohio State, per his lawyer

Note to any NCAA coach. If any of your players has a lawyer, it’s best just to be proactive and report yourself to the NCAA for violations even if none have occurred. Helps speed up the appeals process.

@BryanDFisher: In November, Terrelle Pryor said, “I’m a Buckeye until I break all the records.” Appears he will not be a Buckeye nor have any records.

Depends on when the NCAA start tracking illegally gifted vehicles. If after Barry Switzer’s Oklahoma teams, Pryor probably has the record by 3.

@MKimESPNAmerica: OTL: Terrelle Pryor made $20,000-$40,000 autographing memorabilia, according to a former friend who witnessed it.

I once signed an autograph, it was at the bottom of the impending @KateUpton restraining order

Burnt Toast Take:

Want a quick and easy fix to college football cheating?  Declare 1 day Amnesty period. Tell every team to spill their guts with no punishment. If they are caught after, they automatically get the SMU Dealth Penalty. No questions asked.

Twitter Potpourri

@FloydMayweather: My fans have been waiting long enough. Floyd Mayweather vs Victor Ortiz. Sept-17 2011 for the WBC World Championship.

Andrew Siciliano pointed out a while back, Floyd Mayweather has done more to damage his respective sport that any other athlete. Mayweather/Pacquaio is what everyone wants to see. If Karma is real, Mayweather loses to Ortiz, therefore costing himself tens of millions of dollars that he’d get for the Pacman Fight

@Dan_Rubenstein: Congrats to NBC for winning the Olympics bid. They’re taping an announcement today, then airing it in a few weeks.

The internet was bad enough, but Twitter will kill the Olympics on NBC. Taped delayed sports is like watching porn on a dial-up connection. Just isn’t the same

@Deadspin: Colt McCoy’s Wife Says Texas Boosters Are Too Generous With Their “Fishing Trips And Hunts, Here Or There” 

Here’s how I envision Colt McCoy ripping Mrs McCoy at dinner last night:

Colt: “Gosh Darn it sweetheart, what did you say today that got everyone so dang worked up?”

Mrs McCoy: “Nothing sugar muffin. I just told them the truth”

Colt: “But Little Rose Petal, you have to be careful, we don’t want to hurt the University”

Mrs. McCoy: “I’m sorry pancake fluffy bunny, It won’t happen again”

Colt: “Aww…I’m so sorry I said Gosh Darn it. It won’t happen again. I promise Candy Cane Unicorn Schmoopie”

AAETIMOMNHVHWFOTD:

Amazing Adult Entertainer That I Might Or Might Not Have Visited Her Website Follow Of The Day

@NaughtyAllie (NSFW)

Follow My Ass: @PeterBurnsRadio

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