Gilbert Arenas Talking 3D Porn & Great Shaq Retires Tweets [Burnt Toast]

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Burnt Toast

The Greatest Tweets in the History of the Internet* (* In the last 24 Hours)

Former Member of Fu-Schnickens Retires

@SHAQ: im retiring Video: http://bit.ly/kvLtE3 #ShaqRetires

Got to hand it to Senor O’neal, the man singlehandedly put Twitter on the map for athletes. Although it’s clear with his retirement tweet, he’s not quite ready to take the reigns as an English professor anytime soon.

@AndrewSiciliano: If @Shaq changes his mind, he can always claim his twitter account was hacked. It’s the rage these days. 

“My Twitter was hacked” is the new “Dog ate my homework”.

@Mengus22: Today seems like a good day to remember that Dale Brown had Chris Jackson and Shaquille O’Neal and did nothing with them.

AND STANLEY ROBERTS! The ’90 LSU squad had arguably 2 of the Top 10 College Basketball players of all time. Nothing to show for them.

@RealSkipBayless: What I’ll remember most about Shaq: During LA title run, most dominant force I’ve ever seen in paint. Overpowered w/ athletic size, strength

That’s complete bullshit Bayless. He was dominant because the Lakers were the sexy shiny coin, and Stern cattle-prodded his referee crews to let them bully the lane. Had the NBA called games within the letter of the law, he would have fouled out of 60 of 82 games a year.

Frozen Soccer Finals

@Rissab54: Last time a tornado touched down in Springfield Mass was 1972. That was the last time the Bruins won the Stanley cup.

Amazing fact….AMAZING! Here’s a another amazing fact. My neighbor has 3 cats, and there are 3 periods in hockey. MIND.BLOWN.

@PuckYourself: War of 1812 rematch; here is to Canucks kickin’ some teaparty ass. Let’s leave the White House alone this time, eh?

Ahhh Canada. It’s so cute you have to roll back 199 years to run some smack. Well done. Now fix us some syrup.

HOLY S*** Tweet of the Day:

@AgentZeroShow: Gone Fishin http://twitpic.com/55lyfy

Yes. Gilbert Arenas is on Twitter. Yes. It’s Amazing. Already some serious gems from Mr. Hibachi himself…..

@AgentZeroShow: Caught fish number 2…I’m glad its catch and release..kinda like my women..if u put them in the bucket they will never leave..let’s go #3

@AgentZeroShow: I was figured at sum point there gonna make 3D porno becuz right now 3D glasses with 2D laptop porn aint the future…

God Bless Twitter.

HCIWLMVFFOTD:

(Hot Chick I Would Lose My Virginity For Follow Of The Day)

@DanielleMoinet

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