Jared Lorenzen’s Offensive Lineman Looks Like A Buffet Slayer [Photo]

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Back in April we broke the news that Jared Lorenzen was floating around the arena football world, looking like he’s ready for a scab position in the NFL. Suddenly the guy is getting more run from sports blogs and more photos are being taken of the gargantuan former New York Giants backup. But today we’re here to observe and appreciate the dude who’s responsible for protecting the former UK Wildcat legend.

Looking at the Northern Kentucky River Monsters roster there doesn’t seem to be a #70.

Only 3 guys on this roster are listed at 300 or 300-plus so that eliminates the entire roster because Buffet Slayer is easily four bills.

But this is arena football, just 50 yard fields and short walks to the bench. We actually wouldn’t be surprised to see some of these tubs toeing the 450-plus mark one of these days. Seriously, it’s like 10 steps to a bench for oxygen.

Do you know this #70 character? Email us. Just don’t tell him we were making fun of his pork tenderloin belly.

mail@bustedcoverage.com

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