Preakness Kegasus Mascot Has A Sweet Nipple Ring

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There was some hubbub about the Preakness putting its new mascot on display to Baltimore media this week. The dude – Kegasus – is an obvious play towards the white, drunk fratties who enjoy the infield at Pimlico. Ever been to Pimlico? You won’t catch our asses going into that ‘hood unless there is an infield party at the Preakness, hence the need for a stupid mascot to promote being a drunken fool. The big news with this Kegasus character? The slick nip ring. Smokin’!

The CBS affiliate in Baltimore actually attributed a 17% ticket sales increase to this mascot douche. Seriously.

“All indications are that he is popular with the folks that go to the bars and those are the people we want on the infield,” said Mike Gathagan, Maryland Jockey Club.

It’s the same rules as last year. No outside alcohol can be brought on the infield, but you can buy as much as you want once inside.

At least 32,000 people were on the infield in 2010, and though it’s his namesake, Kegasus does not promote excessive drinking.

“I believe that’s up to each individual to decide whether or not they choose to remember how truly legendary they were that day,” said Kegasus.

So the Preakness names its mascot after a barrel of beer, and we’re to believe that the mascot doesn’t promote excessive drinking? Ok.

Not that we care. You have a DD and don’t kill anyone, we want you doing whiffle bat bongs while running across the Port-O-Lets. Get hammered, people. Just don’t tell us you ended up at the Preakness because of some dude with a nipple ring.

And if any of you know the real name of this Kegasus character, we need to know. $50 says he has some trashy Facebook pics BC needs to be publishing. Do work.

mail@bustedcoverage.com

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