We’ve covered pretty much all the crazy shit you guys can throw at us.
Just this morning we had the story of a chick who couldn’t wear a seatbelt because it hurt her implants. Now our day ends with this masterpiece out of Coal Country â€“ Northeast Pennsylvania – where the people are either batshit crazy or nearing their deathbed.
Meet Robert Hospodar, 29 and Amber Sutton, 26. These two wild and crazy kids are responsible for introducing us to the sudden craze where folks get all fucked up on bath salts.
Seriously fucked up.
So fucked up that they call police with the following gem:
A couple hallucinating from bath salts nearly cut their 5-year-old daughter with the knives they were using to stab â€œthe 90 people living in the wallsâ€ of their apartment, police said.
West Pittston Patrolman Leonard Lombardo said he responded to the coupleâ€™s apartment at 3:19 a.m. Saturday â€œfor a report of 90 people living in the walls.â€ He met Hospodar and Sutton and their daughter and said the adults were holding knives and other knives were on the floor.
Hospodar and Sutton â€œexhibited extremely paranoid behavior,â€ said Lombardo in the affidavit of probable cause to support the charges filed against them. Each said the other was on bath salts, according to the affidavit.
â€œThey were pulling drywall off the walls and sticking their heads in the walls describing the people in which they claimed they saw. They were plunging knives in to the holes in the walls attempting to stab the people,â€ according to the affidavit.
The couple put down the knives after several commands, but the child was nearly cut on the head by a knife held by Sutton, according to the affidavit.
No, this isn’t the stuff your girlfriend makes you buy at Christmas because it’s like the only shit you know how to purchase at the last minute. And she doesn’t trust your judgment at Victoria’s Secret.
We’ve yet to actually uncover what these bath salts are used, but they are popping up in head shops as an alternative to coke. Oh, and did we mention that these bath salts are legal?
That’s right, BC readers, you can go to a head shop tonight and get bath salts to smoke. Then you’ll get blotto and start destroying the drywall in your house.
Have fun. Tell your contractor to thank us after the check clears.
Do you have a photo we need to see? An athlete shitfaced at the bar you hang out at? Tell us.