Well, hello there Ms. Bowles.
You want us to go with you on a car ride? You want to go to the park? In your Subaru?
What’s up with the vodka? And Sprite. “We’re underage and should be working on History homework, Ms. Bowles.”
“Shut up and get naked, you stupid sophomore.”
Dear Lord, where were you when BC was 16, baseball practice was stressful and we needed sex and a drink? Of course in those days the 30-something teachers were either bitchy or pregnant. If we had a Ms. Bowles it would have been drinky and wicked sex up against the back bench of that Subaru.
Stupid cops always have to ruin the fun.
Here is the story that is rocking the Denver community where women are shaking their heads and fathers are smiling.
When a patrol officer found a high school teacher in a parked car with a 16-year-old student, both were naked and there were bottles of Sprite and vodka in the vehicle, according to the arrest affidavit.
Mountain View High School instructor Courtney Bowles, 31, bought the booze, picked up the unnamed boy and parked her blue Subaru in North Lake Park about 10:40 p.m. Friday, the report says.
The alleged victim first said he had no identification with him and gave Loveland police Officer Sharon Hopkins a false birth date. When she questioned him again, he handed over his Mountain View school ID, showing he was a 10th-grader. He then acknowledged he was 16.
Bowles, who is married with two children and is an instructional coach for teachers at the school, told the officer that she offered the boy alcohol, but he had only one sip.
One sip? Bullshit.
Anyway, we need more photos to build a case for losing virginity to Ms. Bowles. At 16 it’s highly likely this young punk hadn’t been laid yet. Rethink your life and how it might be different if Ms. Bowles was your first lay. Think about it. Talk it over with your boys. Text old high school buddies.
And if you have access to Ms. Bowles in a bikini, by all means, send along those photos. We are experts at photo analyzation.