Cuff 'Em: "Come And Suck It," Arizona Cardinals Fan & Drug Addict Tells Cops As He Jerks Off Behind Motel
The NFL season might be over but Busted Coverage is always on the prowl for jersey-wearing jerkoffs who end up in jail after going on a drug bender and end up jerking off behind a motel.
Teddy Ruiz is 24 and left 2010 with one of the greatest one-liners you’ll ever see in a police report.
The Phoenix New Times has all the hilarious details of this Cardinals fan being arrested while yanking his meat.
A Phoenix drug addict was arrested yesterday morning after telling cops to “come and suck it” as he was found naked and masturbating behind a Phoenix motel.
About 4:30 a.m. yesterday, cops were called to the Super 8 Motel at 1242 North 53rd Avenue in Phoenix. The night manager told police a naked guy was wandering around a fenced in area behind the motel.
The manager brought police behind the building and that’s where they found 24-year-old Theodore Ruiz (pictured). Ruiz was naked, and he was masturbating — and he apparently needed a hand (or a mouth).
Police asked Ruiz to put his hands behind his head, but his hands were busy — masturbating — and he refused.
He again invited cops to “come and suck it” — right before he was pepper-sprayed by the officers.
Of course the cops, unamused by Ruiz’s advances, pulled his hands away from the beef and threw his stupid ass in jail where we expect there were plenty of takers.
No word on if Ruiz bailed out in time to catch yesterday’s shitty performance in San Francisco.