Cuff ‘Em: Is This The Face Of A Dude High On Mushrooms With A Mouse Shoved Up His Ass? Yes, It Is.

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We continue to be amazed and amused by the human race.

*Shaking head*

And to think that this shit didn’t take place in Florida. Take it away, South Carolina TV station!

Authorities responded to Bernwood Circle near the town of Seneca late Monday morning after a resident complained of a burglar. When deputies arrived, they found Noah Smith, 31, lying face down and naked inside the doorway of the victim’s home, the report stated.

When the deputy tried to make contact with Smith, he slapped the deputy. In return, the deputy deployed his taser, which had no effect on Smith, the report stated.

The police then used pepper spray and a baton to subdue this maniac.

Deputies and officers from the Seneca Police Department opined that Smith might have been high on mushrooms, and identified equipment that could be used to get high in the victim’s home.

During a medical exam at a nearby hospital, medical personnel found a mouse tail hanging from Smith’s rectum. An X-ray revealed a mouse lodged inside Smith.

Of course Noah couldn’t remember how the mouse ended up shoved into his ass. It’s one of the great mysteries to life. How does a mouse get shoved up ones ass?

Do you have kids that are to the drug experimental stage? We suggest you post this on the fridge. “Look here, you little fucks. Want to end up like Noah and have a mouse pulled from your ass?”

If that doesn’t work you are screwed and your credit cards are about to be stolen to pay for the meth habit.

[Mouse-infested naked man tased, arrested for burglary, assault]

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