Cuff ‘Em: Brian Wilson Inspired USF Baseballer Decides To Hit-&-Skip A Cop Car At 4:15 A.M.
Normally a hit-and-run on a cop car by a college baseball player would just pass our desks, never receiving publication because it’s not exactly a high-profile event compared to getting naked and tased by the fuzz.
Then we found this story that was just too good because the dude arrested for the hit/skip has a Brian Wilson inspired beard and his name is Kevin Quackenbush.
A pitcher with the University of South Florida baseball team was arrested [Sunday] morning after police say he crashed into a police car and then drove off. An officer sustained minor injuries in what police are calling a hit-and-run. Kevin R. Quackenbush, 21, of 10811 McKinley Drive, #13108, ran into Officer David Michelson’s police car on North McKinley Drive, north of Bougainvillea Avenue, about 4:15 a.m. while making a left turn.
Quack loses points for the lack of Just For Men.
Listen up, pitchers. Of course the Brian Wilson look is intimidating, makes you look like you can kick ass in a bar full of biker gang members and is plenty bad boy enough to pull more tail than Charlie Sheen.
What happened to the days when you could have a mullet and throw inside? What about a perm? Grease dripping off the curls.
Forget the beard/shaved head. Start your own trend.