BC Investigation Unit: If Your Quarterback (Terrelle Pryor) Has Been Photographed Getting Shitfaced It's Highly Likely You Won't Win BCS National Title
How many times did we need to tell Ohio State fans there was trouble ahead?
How many times have we told you that Terrelle Pryor was incapable of carrying this team to a national title?
We’ve been preaching it for nearly a year once readers started sending in photos of Mr. Pryor club hopping and then this summer when, just before camp, Busted Coverage received the apparently drunken Pryor pics.
That made it official.
If you aren’t smart enough to not get drunk in public and let people start snapping photos, you aren’t smart enough to beat a Wisconsin defense.
Want to see the list of quarterbacks who’ve won a BCS title over the last 10 years? This is fun!
Here are your QBs who’ve hoisted the BCS trophy from 2000-2009:
Alabama: QB â€“ That dorky white guy.
Florida: QB â€“ That virgin.
LSU: QB â€“ Matt Flynn. Remember, OSU fan?
Florida: QB â€“ Again, that virgin.
Texas: QB â€“ Ok, you have a +1 point with this one.
USC: QB â€“ Yeah, Leinart partied, but how couldnâ€™t he win with that team.
LSU: QB â€“ Matt Mauck. Seriously.
Ohio State: QB â€“ Of course you remember.
Miami: QB â€“ Ken Dorsey.
Oklahoma: QB â€“ Josh Heupel.
8 dorky white guys have won the national title over the last 10 years. Notice a trend?
Keep drinking the Kool Aid, Buckeye fan. Keep recruiting the athlete at the QB position. Keep thinking the QB has to have wheels.
The above list speaks for itself. Character matters.
Of course we’ll get emails such as “The defense sucked dick.” Or, “You can’t blame TP for kickoff returns for TDs.”
Ahh, but fellas, there will be times when the QB has to be the man. Has to be the five-star. Has to bring the team back from the brink with a brilliant 4th quarter. Has to pull one out of his ass. Has to show he’s worthy of being mentioned amongst the other Heisman contenders.
You tell us a game, besides the Rose when he had 40 days to get ready, when Pryor has stepped up. Feel free. We’ll post your support letters, too.
Now, if you’d like to prove our research to be wrong and have photos of Landry Jones or the dude from Boise doing body shots off some campus tramps, send us an email.